Crop… Etc….

The crop is hard and fast. Hitting my cunt and clit. When sir says to cum, I come in the same matter, hard quick, an orgasm for every slap.

Every first experience is the best.

Then the holding, the praise of good girl. Being able to cuddle and the knowledge of his pride at my need for pain. He completes me. He knows my needs and what my body and souls react to much better than me.

The whip

I thought I would be afraid of it. Sir knows that he can train me to cum with just the sound.

I was bent over the slave station. Whipped on my ass. Fuck I love that feeling, I came over and over. He whips me knowing it’s what I want. He gives it to me because I am his good girl.

After I collapse on the floor, unable to speak or move. Sir is so kind and gentle with me. He gets my soft blanket covers me, makes sure I’m ok, mental and physical.

I’m writing this from a semi/Slave state

I have so much more to explain to you sir.

The sound as it breaks through the air is wondrous. Before sir used it he cracked it in the other room. The first time I heard it my body quivered. I wanted to scream to him “please sir” begging him to use it on me. Beg him not to stop to bring me over and over to an uncontrollable frenzy of an o. My problem is never knowing my limit in that state, always begging to get more. I love the pain that much. I need it that badly.

The whip is by far my favorite, it is the one thing that most scared me,. I know now it was because I needed it so badly. It makes me feel owned. The pain is sharp and lingers. I turn that pain into the most intense pleasure. I could cum right now with just the sound of it.

Sir said he could train me to do that, I didn’t believe him. I really need to learn not to doubt what he says. But the experience is something no words can explain.

The welts are beautiful. Sir took a picture so I could see. Their not like bruises, nasty and discolored. They are dainty, fine pink lines. They look perfect on a woman’s ass. I would find myself light touching them. Getting a quick jolt of good pain each time. It was so sad(from my soul) when they faded.

I want to be able to let the last bit of me go. To cry and cum, to loose that last hold on my brain side, to give into only the feelings. This is what I have the most trouble with. I’ve cried before, but not the way my soul needs to. The whip is what I believe can make this happen. I long to be tied up spread eagle and to feel that pain from the single tail as it hits me. To collapse still standing. I want the feel and emotion to roll over me like a Mack truck, unstoppable.

The problem with crying is most definitely a carry over from my prior d. He made me cry, he hurt me badly all in the name of what he saw as bdsm. It was not. When I cried for him he got harder. His eyes changed, he scared me so badly that I hold back, afraid of my tears.

Sir is not like that. He makes me feel secure and cared for. My tears are a gift I want to give to him and I know I will be able to soon.