Yesterday was a horrible day of broken routines.
I have a million of them from the time I wake up until Sir wishes me a good night. Not one of them happened yesterday. I could think of a million things that disrupted them, the storm, Sir feeling ill, but more than that it was the knowledge that Sir said I would have no pain. That the absence would make me miss it more. The pain grounds me, allows me release and when I come back the ability to focus. There have been days that either there is no play time or pain is not included, but never with the prior knowledge that this would happen.
I was home just in time to make my last meeting via the phone and after I spent time on-line chatting with some people both new and old. I knew Sir had slept later and being under the weather would be very busy, so I was occupying myself by writing.
At at around 4pm Sir said when I do my chores to have 2 blue slave balls in, but no rush. I was still typing so he decided that I should plug my slave hole first. Most would say ok, well that’s pain, but nope, it only hurts for a second and it’s not enogh for me at this point. It’s not sir Fucking me hard, that would be the pain I desire in my slave hole not the plug. So I asked him if I could move on my chair.He said that I was a good cum slut and yes I could torture myself with many edges. I set an alarm so that I would take it out after 15 minutes as directed. I edged hard for the hole time, moving up and down searching for that pain, hips in circles, a towel under me to not ruin the pretty chairs in my dining room. Still I didn’t get the release I needed. I decided as soon as I took it out to start my chores. I had edged too much for too long and forgot to set the alarm. So after having them in an extra 20 minutes I remove them and text Sir. as a punishment I have to give him 20 more edges one for every minute extra they were in. This took no time at all as I was already a dripping mess in full slave space. I told him when I was done and he was happy at how quickly I had finished my task.
I was chatting with someone very new to D/s and multi-tasking as always, knitting and watching my ipad. I was so tired that I told her I was calling it a night. Sir had gone for something to eat and I was going to wait up for him and watch a little more of my show. I think it’s something about British accents that put me into a coma. I had fallen fast asleep. I remember Sir calling and I was so upset that I had fallen asleep and that he did not tuck me in and that I had disappointed him yet again. I wish I could recall what he had said, but I was still sleeping and don’t even know if he understood my answers. I am not used to needing punishment, and for the second time in one day I had messed up. He is sleeping and his email was in a tone that didn’t sound too upset. I woke up and am horribly upset with my own behavior. I fear today will be another day with no good pain, but I will do my best to show Sir that I am sorry for yesterday lack of routine and disobedience.