Blah x3

This is a phrase I use when emailing my boss….it means insert a bunch of tech crap I don’t understand or want to.

Today this phrase describes me. Nothing’s wrong, I’m just cold and miss Sir. I have plans for dinner w/little R. Her friend went missing a few months ago and they identified him by his teeth this morning. She is destroyed. I held her and patted her little head, so much like a lost child.

Then drinks with the bride and maybe C. I’ll be tired and cranky the entire time but I miss them. All of my adventures taking time away from people that may not understand me, but that I love anyway.

I’m just wasting time at work, no meetings or documents that are at the point that I can write them. I wish I was home. I wish I was taking pain and being fucked. I wish I was receiving praise for being a good slave and slut. I wish a pretty girl was licking my cunt while sir was fucking her slave hole.

In time these things will happen but for now I’ll just day dream, making my 3 layers of clothing wet.

I want to be tied up naked, collar and cuffs, having all of my holes used. I want that beautiful used look on my face. The look that sir loves, the look that says I am his slave. The joy of floating no brain just pleasure from obeying. None of this would be joyful without Sir, this is an experience I want him to see, to hold me after. This to me is how I prove that I am his good whore. The sex part is easy, the emotions attached are not.

I realize I may have held back due to this desire, yes I sucked a few cocks and licked a few clits and tits, but in much more of a fluffer way. Well except for Aruba girl.

Then there is my need to know Sir approves of me. Last night the party was his command, not to play, but at least to go and see what it was about. Even still I feel the need to ask “are you sure you are good with this?”

My brain says stop, but my soul needs to hear that he is happy. He texted me the other day he texted “you make me very happy….” That’s better than any orgy!

Random thought— would Sir want me to fuck or suck J so that we would insure an invite to his apartment on his next trip. There’s no attraction to him, but I want Sir to be able to look at that view with me in his arms. Lol, God I would have never been ok with that thought a few weeks ago…..I would have thought it, but never admitted it and felt like a piece of crap for thinking of it.

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