I spoke with N again last night.
We are both going through the same things, we have great supportive men, crappy x husbands, pasts that interfere with our presents.
We both hold the fear that we will loose the men we have due to our crappy pasts playing on our minds. Really who wants to deal with our type of baggage.
She like me is also a strong little girl, but her x can reduce her to tears and she hates that. He put her in financial trouble then said take me back. As if!
We also share a similar fear that hit us just yesterday. What if we go off the deep end in this lifestyle. It’s hard to keep balance and not let your cunt take over your brain.
I fear too many partners and loosing focus at work. Also I’ve been neglecting my friends and family that have helped when I needed them. I feel I’ve turned into a very selfish person. What if I can’t find this balance of slave, slut,whore,business woman, friend,and daughter? It’s so much to juggle. Plus I need time to decompress. My brain can’t keep going full force without down time. If we could add 3 more days to the weekend I might be able to do it all to my type a best.
So we found support in our very unique set of circumstances. It was great to speak to someone who’s life is running parallel to mine.
I woke and my head is in a better space today. Just realized how much I’m looking forward to my painting class on Friday, it’s been months since I put a brush to canvas.
Off to work, another busy day.
Hoping yoga with Aruba girl, but it seems I’ve given her her cold back, so we will see.