today I really don’t know what to write about. I thought by now I would have dropped, but I seem to be fine.
My cunt is still wet and I still feel connected to Sir, even though I miss feeling him.
I think having vanilla distractions mixed with slave routines is working at keeping my mind balanced.
I only start to get scared and drop when I have no routine, no balance. If I go to far one way or the other I short circuit.
I also noticed last night that I no longer have guilt over watching porn. Before Sir I would watch,cum once than be ashamed. Now I watch and edge and float, I know this pleases Sir. The more I edge the wetter I am and the more slave like I feel.
Every moment of the day I am ready and wet for him.
I hope he wakes and feels better today.
I found myself half asleep this morning kneeling next to his chair. Edging and not counting. Seeing him looking down and watching what a good cum slut he has made of me.
He also allowed me pain last night. I know now and expressed to him yesterday that longer than a day without pain and my mood changes. It is my need, a constant need, the way I release stress. I am so happy that Sir ……not only is pleased with this, but is mature and sane enough to set my limits. He always knows when to stop. That in itself shows me how much he cares. I adore his control.
Yoga tonight, it will be sweet pain since I skipped class last week. I’m looking forward to it.