one of the many things I’m working on and have been for a long time before Sir is how to relax.

So as last post proves I can now sit and watch tv for an hour, major improvement. I do yoga and that helps. Next is going to be reading something longer than a blog or business document.

Let me start by saying, my house is full of books, my kindle, new and charged. I used to read anywhere from one to five novels a week. It was my passion. I don’t remember a time I didn’t read.

When X-Dom and I broke up I couldn’t even look at a book. I have 3 in my nightstand draw that I can get no further than a page into before I get to busy in my mind.

I was telling this to little R and she said what changed? So I thought all day and night and the truth is ….. Nothing and everything. Nothing being I still love stories and falling into someone’s else’s fantasies. Everything, well everything, I’ve changed, but that’s not why I stopped reading.

I stopped because M was a author. When I pick up my kindle it is full of his crappy books. So I’m going to try again, old fashion heavey hard covered. I don’t know if my mind will let me, but I’ll try.

6 thoughts on “Books ”

  1. I identify and understand. After I freed myself from an abusive relationship I could not watch a movie or listen to much abuser collected movies. .I was depressed too. It took awhile but I finally just told myself I can do this and I watched Conan the barbarian of all movies. It was great. I had my power back. MY life. Reading was and is my passion..I can find my mindfulness in a book like surrendered wife or some other positive book…hard copy books- make it yours. Take back every part of you; then you have it to give to someone deserving if you choose.


    1. Thank you, between having both my marriage end then rushing into an abusive relationship, I really couldn’t sleep or even sit for a year. I had to constantly keep going because I was and still am afraid that if I stop I’ll take to the bed and never get up again. But it’s baby steps, first I learned to be ok in a quiet room, then to sit at the dining room table, now I’m ok with a small amount of tv. It’s so funny when Sirs around I have no problem with any of those things. It’s just when I’m alone. It’s amazing how hard the little things are. I’m lucky to have a good quality D/s relationship now, but I’m still just a little scared. Thank you for your kind words


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