Inconvenient drop

the bus was late. 

I fell the other day and my leg and foot are all scraped up, so I have to stop at the drug store on my way to work. Walking down the first aid isle and….boom, my whole world came crashing i on me. lol, I must have been a sight crying at the band aide selection. 

I became totally irrational. I even almost turned around and went back home.

When I drop that sudden and hard I just want to get off this roller coaster. It makes me miss the stability of vanilla. Sure it was boring, but I could go to the drug store and not fear passing out.

Now I’m at my desk getting ready for a meeting and praying this day goes fast. I just need to decompress, too much going on in my head right now. I need sleep, I’m guessing the the drop actually started yesterday. I slep so much and just need more. It’s the only thing that balances me again. 

Sir is still in bed sleeping. He was not feeling well and may not leave today. My mind is struggling knowing he isn’t well. Still wanting to beg him for pain and release. But knowing if he is not well I ask for a hug instead. It’s also been 10 days since I came last. Normally that would be ….. Nothing, but I’ve edged and been used for sirs pleasure and I think I’m finally at the breaking point, where my mind and body can’t take it any longer.

Well now I’m just babbling…..I have to get my head on straight and get through today.

As much as it hurts when Sir leaves, I hope he feels better.

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