Damn diet bet

A month ago we started a diet bet. Sir and I agreed that one to two pounds a week was good and I would not go o et board. Official weight out is friday, I have one pound to go!

I was really hoping I had hit goal already and could eat more than a yougert for breakfast, but at least my efforts are paying off.

Last night sir denied me orgasm. It’s really a love/hate thing. I love that I feel more owned by his ability to bring me right to the edge and then say no and my body obeys. I also love that he gets pleasure from it, but truth is my cum slut needs to come out soon.

I had a horrible nightmare of a scene gone very wrong last night. Sir was not there but on the phone. My ball gag and blind on. The person/people started with some light bondage and flogging then something happened and they took the phone, hung up on sir. A knife came out, the phone was ringing I was strapped down to tight. My nipples and cunt lips were removed. I was yelling and screaming and bleeding. Left to die, no one hearing through the gag. I woke up crying and holding my tits.

I hate stress dreams. That’s the first one in about a year that I died in. I’ve had dreams of my death hundreds of ways and hundreds of times. I know this dream is going to make me much more cautious and nervous with new partners. I also know it has little to do with actual play but is a result of my stress with work and money and my ex etc.

So  I’m really tired today. Like bone tired.  

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