Why so Blue?

So out of the list, Sir says only 6 were real sexual encounters. So the number is not really that high.

But when he is glass half full, I’m not really a pessimist but more a realist. My previous 20 count did not count a 2 minute bj,(of which I’ve only given one) or girls (and there were only 3 or 4). I had four long tem relationships that spanned the majority of the last 20 years.  In the brief times I was single I would not have one night stands but instead many fwb. If not the number would have been 4. The rest were just fuck buddies. So I guess a part of me feels crappy because 1) most of the people on the list I’m not friends with and if I am now I wasn’t when we were initially together. 2) Even though I know that this is to please Sir, it sometimes feels like …….. I’m acting out against adulthood.

Funny in the past I was called a whore and slut but really I wasn’t. Now I guess I am.

One thought on “Why so Blue?”

  1. You are only a whore or a slut if you choose to be. Each and every partner becomes a stich in the tapestry of your life. That doesn’t make them good or bad, just the threads that make you, you. Accept that the number doesn’t matter, how you handled and learned from each one does. Don’t disrespect them by trying to erase them from your list. Without them, you wouldn’t be where you are now, with the Sir you have, so celebrate!

    Liked by 2 people

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