One thing that has stayed with me from Thursday night was the look on Sirs face.
Thursday was the first time that I was used and fucked by a man/men (for more than 30 seconds) with sir there watching. Part of the reason I think I had the bad slut feeling come up was because …… The look that Sir gave me as I was getting fucked right in front of him really….. Turned me on. In that very moment the man fucking me didn’t exist. There was only Sir and I. That intensity really scared me.
I was more slave in that single moment than ever. More me and when Sir said cum, I came for him, not for the cock in me.
The scary part is if there were 20 cocks in that room and Sir wanted, I would have fucked them all for him.
I battle with what I would do for him. Until I saw the look on his face I would not have imagined that seeing me being fucked would have brought him joy. I wonder if it was the actual watching, me begging, or him knowing I would only cum for him and when he allowed…..
The bad slut feeling came up because I really enjoyed Sir ….. Telling the men to fuck me and him being there. My brain screams at me that none of that should be ok. That I should have guilt. That what I did that night proved every peice of crap right, that I am a whore.
The truth is I enjoyed every second of it. Now it’s time to deal with the fall out.