Holding his hand

last night Sir asked what I remembered more during the yatch party, the eye lock when FG was sucking him or when I was getting fucked. At that moment my ability to speak was nil, but I was able to think about it.

When she was sucking him a part of me did not want to see. I was horribly afraid that my jealousy would come up and I like her too much to hate her in that moment. I think she felt that because as i tightly closed my eyes she took my head, kissed me and we both started sucking. It only last a couple of seconds before Sir took my head and told me to look at him.

But what I remeber most was when the spankers fwb started fucking me and I was looking at Sir. I think that eye lock stayed with me and was more powerful, not because of the cock or Sir allowing me to cum, but because I was looking at Sir, not seeing who was fucking me. Looking at him letting him know that I trust him enough to follow where he leads.

That trust is what is allowing me to finally let go of all of the past ……. damages. Some days I deal better than others, but I will still hold Sirs hand and follow.

Last night that questioned played in my head. My dreams much more vivid than they have been lately.

Dream:

Sir had planned a surprise for me. I was in a non descript hotel room. Blindfolded, bound, collar and corset, kneeling, sir applying the clovers. My cunt dripped as I knelt. Sir whispered that I was a good girl and to obey. Grabbed hard by my hair and my face pushed into the floor. Face down, ass up. Open and pulsing, needing pain and pleasure, crying as I waited. I feel chains on my waist, Lesh on my collar, being dragged firward. Then a crack of the whip, but I feel the hit of a flogger instead. I moan then the whip hits, I scream. This continues, never knowing what will hit me next until I am nothing but a crying mess on the floor. Sir removed the blindfold and held me in his arms as I shook and cried. As I calmed down, sir said I would be taking much more pain for him tonight . The he took me by my collar, shoving my mouth hard down on his cock. Gagging and chocking. I floated, he slapped me across the face (I must have lost focus) I sucked and gaged harder. As I did this, I felt fingers on my dripping clit. My full consintration on Sirs cock. Then someone licking my clit. I look up at Sir and he is happy with his cock pulsing in my mouth. I still lick and suck, but now I moan, I move back and forth, fucking the mystery persons face. Still sucking and looking at Sir. In that moment nothing else matters but making Sir happy. I don’t beg to cum, I know he doesn’t want me to yet.

He pulls my hair off of his cock. Says just look at him. Trust him. Hands on my tits from behind, breasts pressed on my back. Dildo entering my cunt. Another girl kneels in front of Sir taking his cock in her mouth while sir watches his slave get fucked. The louder I get the harder he fucks her face. He grabs my hair and breaks the eye lock shoving my face down again so I am inches away from the licking and sucking girl. A hitachi on my clit as I’m being fucked, watching his cock go in and out of her mouth, I start begging and crying and pleading to cum.

Then I wake up, the alarm has been going off for over an hour and I slept though my spin class.

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