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i got so sick Monday night. I still can’t eat and getting to work is not possible.

This really frustrates me.

Sir is sweet and understanding, so if I get nothing else done today I wanted to get at lest a post up for him.

He sent me a nice mushy email. It was a good thing he didn’t come this weekend, I was such a mess. He spoke of trust and how he looks forward to speaking with me everyday. 

I guess that’s what this all boils down to…. Trust. I trust him enough to obey. 

I did notice that for whatever reason Memorial Day weekend is always a wreck for me. I’m either sick or in some form of big change. Last year I took the whole weekend and painted my apartment, removing every sign of my ex. I was so set on making my place my own that in the 3 days I only slept 3 hours. By the end I looked like a mad woman. My mother had come over when I was finished. The place sparkled and was completely transformed. I on the other hand was a mess, passed out in the middle of the floor, covered in paint, same clothes the whole weekend, my hands cramped from holding a roller or paint brush. Unable to stand from going up and down the ladder. 

She ran me a bath and carried me in. It was the first time since I was a small child she took care of me. 

So now again I’m unable to move and she’s bringing me broth and helping me bathe. Weird, hope to break this pattern next year.

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