in the last 10 minutes….. My cunt has totally taken over. The dreaded cunt brain is back.

I got my period this morning and I get a weird combo of not wanting to be touched and the overwhelming need to have my clit and nipples played with by Sir.

I wish I could fully describe the feeling I get when he takes me from behind, making me cry and beg. I am owned, there is never a thought of the task at hand other than being his slave. There is no control over my cunt. It pulses for him. 

I long to be edged by him. The hitachi in his hands, making my clit need to explode….the need to beg and plead to Sir is more than just a passing thought right now. It’s horrible having so much clothes on, being so far from him.

Home….for a happy tuesday together. I’m thinking of leaving just a little early today. Sir was not feeling well when I left, I’m hoping he rested and is better. Even if he’s not, it will be good to just be in his presence tonight.

Dominance vs Domineering

Very well said

A Look into a Dominant Man and his Submissive.

So if you are vanilla (and not knowledgeable of bdsm) and wondering about the difference between dominance and domineering, it’s rather simple. A domineering man tells you what to do and makes you do it because he wants you to do as he says. He doesn’t lead you, he barks orders at you in order to make himself feel like he’s in charge. He’s not. He’s trying to feel better about himself and needs to assert himself onto you. He may abuse mentally, emotionally and physically. You may even confused it as a dominant man. You may think he’s being macho (sigh), you may think he is trying to lead. He’s not. If you feel badly about yourself, it’s not dominance. It’s abuse.

Dominant men never leave you feeling badly about yourself. Dominant men lead. They take into consideration what is best for you. No, not into consideration, it’s the…

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Kitchen time 

After the long day was done, I returned home to Sir. He’s extending his trip a bit.

In the kitchen making Sir some coffee and he gives me a powderful o by pressing on my hip pressure points. Then my nipples and I don’t know if it’s  been the practice of cuming multiple times on command or being away from him all day, but when he said cum again and keep cuming my good slave, I not only came, went straight to subspace, but squirted. 

When I came back I told Sir and it was so sweet to see the look on his face. I’ve noticed that my need to see his happiness grows with each new thing he trains me to do.

Back to reality today. Long day of work, but it will be nice to return to sir when it’s over.

Graduation day

Up early for a graduation. Sir Must have had trouble sleeping. He once told me in our very first conversation I would be able to cum just because he told me. I thought he was crazy. This visit I’ve cum for him with just a single command no less than 20 times. My cunt juices are still running done my leg.

I awoke In a full  glorious o today. No toys pain or cock. Just Sir in bed with me, his good cum slut. His arm around my neck he tells me to cum again. Sheets off, feeling my need for him to cum. He fucked my cunt hard, I clench my cunt on his cock and I am whole and complete. Not knowing what else Sir needs i wait. It may have been the crop or something else but hard quick strokes of pain on my ass, permission to cum with each stroke, I float. He presses against me saying good girl as I shake and cry, cum again. Knowing his cum slut will make him happy. 

A great start to a great day.

I’ll be gone, away from Sir, doing my vanilla obligations knowing he is with me ever time I sit! Thank you Sir….for such a beautiful way to wake up and for the note.

The best part

nothing at all makes my cunt wetter than the morning after.

I always get up before Sir. It’s just the way I am. The dogs taken care of and I crawl back into bed. Laying there in his arms. 

Every night together is special, but the mornings after an event even more so.  It’s the connection, knowing that the kinky adventures add to us. Even in times of doubt, Sir lets me know that I’m his, cared for, safe and cherished.

The more my good slave, slut and whore grows, the more magical it is to wake up to his warm cuddles.

It’s home. It’s acceptance. It’s us knowing no matter the actions we are still with each other. I am still his. 


last night was a monthly party and my most favorite. The problem being the normal venue no longer hosts fetish parties. So this one was temporary and pretty but way to small. Sir and I had a long enjoyable chat with the host and he promises the next space will be much better. He’s had issues getting a space to rent due to the fallout of the public outing and drama on fet. Who would have thought in a city like New York people would be so intolerant of this community.

It was nice though to walk in and have so many friends! There was master m with lady, fet girl her partner and there poly couple, bow tie man and the bi Bulgarian, the machine and doctor hitachi…..along with the normal cast of characters…rug man, latex nymph, old man baby doll. The last two still give me the creeps sometimes.

I watched the most amazing suspension. It was a couple that you could tell we’re together. He was so fast with the rope and she was naked and floating in subspace. He had her harnessed and in two quick minutes….with one pull her whole body went upside down and she was flying! It was really a beautiful thing. 

Sir asked what I wanted more that or the machine. I must say that’s a really hard choice. We settled on being suspended and then havering the machine fuck me in the air.

Lol, no that didn’t happen, but I did get another ride on the machine.

It was hot and crowded and we knew we wouldn’t stay long. Sir seeing the way my eyes light up and there’s just the smallest bit of fear said before we leave I could have a turn.

So blindfold on and all strapped in. I was shaking with excitement. Sir said to cum and I did….he later told me, the machine wasn’t even in me yet! I lasted about 15 minutes and on the second round of orgasms broke through the restraints again. I was a shaking hsppy mess! They had me sitting in the side feeding me water and paper towels under me because my cunt wouldn’t stop dripping. 

I was his first of the night and after more girls came to try it. It’s funny that I love the crowd as long as I don’t see them until after.

When I was back to earth and recovered, we said a quick goodby and headed on our last long journey home.

It’s so great thinking about how much closer I’ll be to….everything in just a couple of weeks. Sir even saying he could visit more since the travel won’t be so far.

And who knows….just maybe next time another lovely fellow blogger may join me!! This is such an exciting time in my life.

A sincere thank you to Sir, I know without your encouragement I would never have the courage to change. Not just where I live, but much more accepting who I am. A very Mushy, happy slave (with very sore legs)!

Just a typical Thursday night- Part 2

As with many of my adventures part two was….comical

So more people had arrived, we were now at about 30 people. Sir had told me while I was gone that this young little blond and the artist had been playing and that the young girl giggles when she cums. He said it was the cutest thing and I had to see it.

She was up against the window, a guy in front of her and her friend fucking her from behind. I got on the floor and started licking her. something in her reaction said to me stop and just play with her. Not even a minute later she squirted ( for the first time ever) and went into a fit of girly giggles! It was adorable and the most unexpected reaction every!

Her friend was also amazed, he had never seen a girl squirt. So talking with her after we found out it was her first party and she was having all different firsts. She had never been in a threesome, never been with a woman. Always had these fantasies and was BDSM curious. So Sir took out the warton wheel, then the whip and Fet girls partner had a very lite flogger. Many girls tried many things they always dreamed of that night.  The artist even broke her crop!

So she will be known forever as giggles. Her lust for new experiences and her adventurous and ……. not child like, but more general excitement is refreshing.  She showed interest in coming to a fet event tonight and Sir said that I was going to practice my horrible flirting. I said that it should be easy, I’ll just ask her to spank me.  She says she’s not sure if she more Dom or Sub, we both laughed (she a total Sub) but I’m not one to pass up a good girl spanking!

So yesterday was a day to recover. I was up early and finally got my lease signed!

I had mentioned to Sir with all the licking and sucking my mouth hurt. Horrible side effect of a fun Thursday, my blow jobs are just not up to par.

When we had gotten home Thursday Sir and I continued to play. He claimed my slave hole again and let me feel the bliss at the other end of his whip, but I was so tired(up almost 24 hours) that I really almost fell asleep sucking his cock. With most of my issues it just took a couple of good strokes of the whip and I was wide awake and able to give Sir the pleasure he needed.

Off to cuddle……More adventures to rest up for tonight.

Just a typical Thursday night

After work I headed to the gym then sauna.  Sir was coming in so off to the city with coffee in hand.  We met up with fet girl and her partner.

I had written how I really don’t like the swinger scene, so Sir said he might have a little surprise for me.  I’ve been so busy with work and life in general that I have been a bit neglectful of the messages I receive on some sites.  Earlier in the week I had mentioned that I peaked at a site and there were a few messages I didn’t respond to, but they looked interesting. I had put it out of my mind and comtinued on with my week.

So into the party we went, four D/s people and over 20 swinger in one luxury hotel room. It was too hot and crowed. I brought wine but we had nothing to open it with. Now here’s where my head has no idea of the time line of events.

Introductions were made. FL girl was not happy about being there, it’s more her partners kink, than hers and we have similar feeling re vanilla swingers.

Sir introduced me to a beautiful tall blonde Russian woman, I’ll call her the artist, and her husband.  She was my surprise! She had sent a message a while ago and she sounded too good to be true. A new Domme. Not much experience, but wanting to explore more.

Turns out her and Sir had been messaging all day as I was working. Our kinks very much in line a scene had been pre set. Now keep in mind, everyone else was still very much clothed. maybe a tit here and there, but play had not started yet. We wer in the corner near the windows…I know the clovers came out and there was touching, sotf and sensual and the much needed blindfold, so I could block out the others.

Sir in a chair and me on the floor, Ass up and face down.  She had brought toys. I feel the lube and pressure on my ass. At this time I had all but forgotten that I had my Luna’s in. Sir said to take them out….I have no idea where they are right now…ugh.  Then I felt her fucking my slave hole and I was gone…straight into subspace. Lots of begging and licking and sucking and fucking. When we had finally stopped for a break, I looked around and the whole room was naked and everyone was in one form or another having sex. we continued to play on and off. I had cum over 50 times. After the blindfold was off I looked at the size of her strapon and OMG no wonder it couldn’t go in with the Lunas!! Her and Sir I would hear clips of them talking and him guiding her as to what to do.  She was amazed that I was able to take the clovers on my clit. The only bad part of that being (as I later told Sir) that for about an hour after I’m numb and when she licked my clit I had no feeling at all.

I would lover to be able to recount all of the different things we did….but they are foggy memories at best.

The important part of the whole night is that Sir found a solution to my dislike of the swinger parties……just turn them into mild fetish parties instead! It was still weird being in the minority, but some of the other less vanilla people enjoyed the show and I’m sure most of the men did as well. Even with out the BDSM aspects not many guys would be turned off by two woman fucking.

So smelling of sex and all things good I went downstairs….2 times. Once to get a crock screw. A little flirting with the bell boy and I had one in less than 30 seconds. Then another time for a very much needed smoke. There was a gala event going on and as I was outside about 10 tv celebrities came out.  It was fun knowing I had nothing but address and heels on, stinking of sex as I watched the tourists get autographs. It was one of those surreal moments that you think, life doesn’t get much more fun than this!

So back upstairs for part two of the night.


so I’ve figured out a bit of why I’m not so fond of swinger parties. I feel like the anomaly, the red head in a room of blonds. 

In most cases it lacks the connection that I need. I love the idea of Sir sharing me, but there’s something weird about how I feel when it’s not with like minded people….damn, now I have more to figure out!

Funny that fet girl said the exact same thing today. She’s not into random sex. 

Plus to me they are mostly vanilla. Sex is easy, there’s nothing to it. D/s is hard, it takes commitment and communication. If I didn’t feel so cared for and safe with Sir I would never have stayed and grown as much as I have under his guidence.

I know Sir likes swingers. So sir says go and I go. I’ve run into a few that I really do like, but rarely in a party environment.

I like the intimacy of a small play date or the wildness of a Bdsm club. They are ying and yang to me. The inbetween not so much.

More tomorrow, gym time