i should just change this blog from stories for Sir to my misadventures in nyc apartments.

I am now giving nicknames to all of the scary places I go to see. Yesterday was Rosemary’s leaning baby.

The hall looked like a scene from American horror story asylum. It was complete with a non verbal 300 pound autistic woman screaming to her  toothless mother in a house dress (the super).

I had made fun of a listing that had clean well lit hallways as an amenity. Never again! This place had next to no light in the hallway and smelled like decaying bodies. 

So up the stairs I go, the apartment was right over the supers. The thought if listening to that woman scream in frustration all night was not a good start, but I continued on. 

We opened the door to face a creepy long hallway with rooms at the end. No flow and small as hell. I measured said it’s too small, thank you anyway. Something else was off in this prewar horror house. As I left I turned back And the entire place leaned to the right. It was like being in some sort of terrible carnival funhouse.

By the time I got home my head was pounding. Sir was still sick, so I talked to the bride for a bit. By 8pm my head got the better of me and for the first time all week I called Sir to be tucked in. He was just getting up from a nap. So with sweet words I closed my eyes to forget about another failed day.

Off to work, meeting, conference calls, training classes, then another broker that not in so many words I called a douchebag yesterday. His let me tell you the cost, think you could afford that? Yes, as a matter of fact I can. Not saying because my food budget is 5 bucks a week, but how dare he!! Then another asked me if I get paid in cash? Wtf, really, no guy, I have a corporate job. I already told him my title, did he think I was making it up?

So my adventures continue……

Sir said nyc real estate is a full time job and I couldn’t agree more!

Dear sir

I miss you. 

I’m so sorry that we’ve both been ill and have not been as communicative as normal. 

Last night I spoke with another sub from Cs. Amazing there are actually 4 real females on that site.

Not excited with the thought of meeting anyone lately. Still bone dry. It’s as if my body hit pause. I’m ok with it, since we both don’t feel well and I’m running around so much.

I wish I could write you of kinky dreams and beautiful pain, but my mind is blank. Well not blank, but full of other stuff.

No meetings today, just paperwork, budgets and bills to pay.  


oh sweet wine, I’ve missed you.

Today was really really shitty, except for work, that was oddly good.

Bad news on the apartment hunt. Then went to see another that was about the size of my cubical.

So tummy ache be damned I’m drinking my after yoga wine. I’ve cried randomly three times today. Once during yoga. I keep telling myself when this crap comes up, it must happen for a reason. There’s something better that I just haven’t found yet.

Poor Sir is still sick. He sounds so horrible. I wish I could make him all better, but sadly I can’t. 

I’m defiantly a slave with control issues today. I just want to be done with this step of moving on. I no longer want to be here, I want that fresh start already.

I did get a really nice pain fix today, back bends in an advanced class. So my body is numb and I am hopeing for my mind to be after my wine.


Still not much to write about.

I’m feeling better, except I’m still waking up sick. It passes after a couple of hours.

Sir’s cold sounded worse and for three days I’ve been tucking him in. He sounds so tired, so early. So with him sick and my stomach being off we are just kinda floating through our days.

Last night I saw an apartment that I really like, then the gym and sauna. Sir called 2 minutes early I was just getting out of the sauna and called back on time. Then when I got home I put my Luna’s in and….well, nothing. Whenever my stomach acts up I go dry. I was able to eat a sweet potato. 

Turns out C is in the hospital from this virus. I feel crappy that I gave it to her. She’s dehydrated and they have her on a morphine drip for the pain. Makes me realize being a madochist isn’t all bad, I hardly ever need to take pain killers or medications of any kind. I just grin and bare it.

Tonight gym yoga and….dying my hair, typical Wednesday. I’m just exhausted.

The rest of the week will be back to running around and random adventures.

Too noisy 

everywhere I go today is just too loud. 

Either that or maybe I’m just too sensitive to my surroundings. I want to crawl into a dark room and relax.

Instead I’m at work, even the guy typing near me is annoying.

I don’t have much to write about, Sir’s not feeling well, I’m just starting to feel better. Life is pretty uneventful, work, look at an apartment, gym then sleep.

I have drinks planned with a local girl Thursday, not getting my hopes up. She’s from a swingers site and the last few people I’ve met from there have been boring, no chemistry ….

lol, yes it’s happened, swingers have become too vanilla for me. Either that or I’m just loosing my ability to connect with people. It happens sometimes when I’m stressed, I get….frustrated by, most little things. It’s when my type a side comes out and the ocd kicks up. I start picking apart every little thing. Not one of my better qualities.

Good day!

9am meeting a success! All other meeting cancelled one at a time. Life doesn’t get better than this.

The other day I mentioned how someone reminded me of my little sister. Actually both of my little sisters. Sir said, you have sisters? 

Yup, I haven’t spoke to either of them in a decade and have no intention of starting now.

When I was about 12, my great grandmother called my mom out of the blue. We went to her house and she sat me down with some of the best tea and baked goods I’ve ever had and showed me a picture of my sisters. One was his new wives one was there’s together. 

She thought I had a right to know and since she was in her nineties didn’t really care what anyone else thought.

I had a good relationship with the older of the 2, the little one was always guarded and jealous.

When I was around 16 I went to visit. My sister told me that my grandmothers boyfriend was abusing her for years and no one believed her. Within the year it came out he had over 50 charges against him in at least 3 states. A child with a 13 year old and had also abused all of my cousins. My littlest sister would never admit to it, but she had stayed there the most. So when the rest of the family came forward the cops were called. I returned for the trial and held her hand the entire time.

My step mother was convinced that i wanted money. I worked, I was used to being poor. The deal was, my mom takes me, she gets no support. That was the agreement and I’m glad of it. As messed up as she was, he was 100x’s worse.

My father and I got into a fight. My sister married a man in his thirties when she was 15. We lost touch for a while. After  our father died I tried to reach out to her. We spoke and visited once. I invited her to my wedding. She said yes and I never heard or saw her again.

The littler one pops up randomly, always looking for money. She never has the balls to call me, only our cousins. 

Turned out he died leaving them millions. They blew it all inside of 5 years. They hurt me more than I could ever say, with the lies and stories they tell about me.

They once said I was a drug addict living in the streets. Then the next year I was married and had 3 sons and never told anyone. Wow I really turned my life around😱 and all by the time j was 20!

So yes I have sisters, no I don’t like them. He died and they never told me. I found out 10 days later, through a second cousin. The first thing I did was book a flight to see if they were ok, not realizing that they were trying to keep it from me. That was the last time I saw them. 

So I don’t mention my sisters. 

Oh mondays

Doctors appointment cancelled. Today I will have to go to work, see an apartment, go to the urgy center, try to make it to yoga by 6.

I think I can get it all in. Plus I have a 9am meeting, fml.

The storms here were horrible and we have pretty bad flooding. Maybe the person in meeting with was unable to fly in, that’s my hope!

I had a few topics I wanted to blog about, but no time to do so until later.

I did have a really nice dream. Sir sitting at the table doing his work. Me at the other end with a domme. It was a very enjoyable scene and every couple of minutes Sir would look up, smile, say good girl and return to his work. Until she bent me over the table hands cuffed and started fucking my cunt, I was screaming, the hitachi taped to my clit. I begged, cried and pleaded to cum. Sir got up, grabbed my hair removing me from my spot on the table. Bent at the waist still being fucked he shoved his cock in my mouth. I knew I didn’t cum until he did. I sucked like never before, staying right on the edge. Too bad I woke up right as I felt his cock twitch on my tongue.