Ru up?

Was the text I woke up to.

Historically it is a text that between the hours of 11pm and 8am are reserved for deaths.

Today it was regarding one of my dogs.

She’s sick and may need to be put down. So I’m at work just waiting for the call. 

For now…auto pilot. I just need to get through this day. 

Sir (even sick) sent me a lovely email, reminding me that I am important to him.  It’s a very simple thing I forget. The little life things get in the way and sometimes it’s easy to forget that there are people that care.

In a very long detailed email I explained to Sir how the events of the past couple of days put me in a very introspective mind frame.

My problem is I analyze things. It’s my job and I’m good at it. It also is the reason that I take on a great deal of stress that most people don’t. When I am done analyzing I am spent, my brain is numb and my body is tired. The cycle is to emotionally shut down, rebuild and start over. 

I am trying not to do this. I am trying to stay balanced, but it’s so exhusting.