I remember 

I spent the day with my goddaughter. She made me remember.

I was there when she came into the world, so often C will say, “she must be yours, not mine”.

She starts high school next week, she has all good nerves and really excited. I did her hair and makeup, helped her complete her last reading assignment.

She reminded me of what I wanted. 

I don’t know the how or the when but I think I’m going off this path. I’ve always wanted that unconditional love a mother has for a child and tomorrow I’ll make the first of the calls to see if I can have that.

She’s not perfect, no where near it. She has ashburgers, ocd but she’s also gifted. I’m the only person that understands how she thinks. There’s a part of me that still believes in a different time …. They’d have … Seen my issues, so similar to hers.

High school will be hard, she’s promised to call and text, a promise from me , C will never know of our conversations. She will have it hard because she is so pretty and different and above all kind. Not any description you add to a “normal” teenager. 

It was a good day.

I’m so tired, a good tired.

6 thoughts on “I remember ”

  1. I lurk around your blog and I am impressed by your willingness to put your life out in the open. Bravo!
    What prompted me to un-lurk is the story about your goddaughter. You see, my son has Asperger’s Syndrome too. And he is, in his way, brilliant also. We all, (his mom, stepmom, his aunts and uncles, brother and I) all worried and wondered about him and how he would fit into this world. He is 27 now and still his wonderful brilliant, goofy self. He is, like your goddaughter, a gift from God, just the way he is.
    Thanks for sparking some wonderful memories

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing. As a small child I was so worried about her. What she would face in school, boys, friends? Now I look at her in amazement. She’s so in-tune with her needs and emotions. After our long talk last night, I’m in awe of how well adjusted she is and I’m so excited for her.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I LOVE THIS!!!! I have worked with kids with autism, along various other disabilities, and they are truly amazing kids. It’s wonderful she has someone like you to share her “secrets” with. This is just amazingly awesome!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh believe me, I’ve seen it in previous employment. Medications, therapies, picture schedules, constant, consistent rountines. It’s difficult for the caregivers, but the rewards are way worth it!

        Liked by 1 person

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