F this day

Im getting my coffee this morning and c calls. I answer it and it’s nothing but sobbing and the sounds of traffic.

Her stepfather passed away as she was in her way to see him. I spoke with her as long as I could, my meetings started at 9 and went straight to 3:30.

When I talked to her next his body already shipped home. She’s bringing her mother back to live with her for now.

It sucks because just a year ago her biological father passed away and her mother has been ill for years.

I called my mother when I got home. I told her enough, what happened with the tests? The rumors in the overies are cysts but the noduals in her lungs have grown. 

It always comes in threes and I told her c and I will not survive loosing both of them.

So meeting after meeting…. More work than I can ever do. I will deal with this. So if for now my blogs and behaviors change, sorry. I have to stay in an analytical mind frame to get through this.

My mind and my heart just hurts. 

I’ve known him for over 20 years, I love her parents as I love my own. The heartache in her mothers voice unbearable. 

We were all set to go away in January. I’m going to make sure c still goes. It won’t be the happy vacation we had expected, but a way to remember him. I prefer to remember rather than mourn.