3 months?

thats what I’m giving this body.

Last night the cramps came again. I didn’t realize what it was, hoping for the best. I woke up to my mother on the phone in a cab coming over an hour early. I stood and a rush of blood came out. 

The doctor says three months to see if it worked. If not… Say bye bye uterus.

I have to say, I’m loosing faith, I don’t know how I’m going to manage if I have to be out of work for 2 months.

Money is one concern, but more than that is I live alone, all alone. Trapped in the house I will starve myself, my ocd will go off the charts. I’ve had surgery with a two week revovery and day 5, I was taken from my house physically after my mother found I had thrown out every ounce of food and was using bleach to scrub the bathroom grout lines with a tooth brush. My hands were bleeding. 

I don’t want to go back there.

One thought on “3 months?”

  1. Hang in there my friend. Our brains can really fuck with us sometimes. Breathe, relax and remember that this WON’T last forever. These are the kinds of things that make us stronger in the end. They just REALLY suck in the immediate moment. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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