I think it’s by far the best word I’ve used to ever describe my feelings.
I can sugar coat it, I do this for the sake of others, I say pretty thing like I’m emotionally drained, sometimes I’m that too, but mostly im filled with bitterness. It feels almost like hunger pain. It burns deep in your belly, like a fire.
Occasionally this bitterness comes flowing out like lava. Mostly at my mother, occasionally to my exhusband. It’s much more due to who’s around, not always who caused my rage.
Too everyone else im cordial, mostly well behaved. Inside im just waiting and biding my time until I get that right moment to let it all go.
I work on controlling it, but in the past week I’ve felt it come back.
I don’t like “oh poor me” type of people. I don’t say “life is so unfair”
Really why waste my breathe, any grown person will know life is unfair, I don’t need someone to remind me.
I’d like to think one day the bitterness will go away, but I’ve yet to figure out how.
Funny to feel the good, you need to feel the bad to.
I need yoga and a good flogging.
I’ll settle for the yoga.