Ok….breathe

so working in reverse. I got blasted with meetings today. I’m just now breathing. I’m trying not to resent this new hire that I’m walking through his job. I just need to put it out of my mind that he makes double my salary. It’s job security that I know more than him (repeats that line internally during each stupid question he asks).

I need a vacation …. So let’s start the countdown 38 more days and I will have a week off. Still not 100% certain im going anywhere, but I’m certainly not going to work.

So for a while before my surgery the Luna ball had ….not been as enjoyable as it once was. With the “nothing in the cunt hole time” over it was time to do baby steps, little science experiments that I know Sir enjoys.

Yesterday was the last of the big one year anniversaries. It was a year to the day of Sirs first visit. Neither one of us feeling 100% but knowing it was a special moment to mark. I had wanted to recreate it, but honestly I don’t know that I’d survive (or more accurately if my coworkers and mother would survive) 500 edges over 2weeks and 2days. So instead only a few edges (the Luna balls working again) and no touch cums in place of cuming from a kiss.

Oh and a funny moment. As we hung up our call, I popped the Luna out and still in subspace exclaimed “holy crap” and giggled. It was so unexpected that I remembered it. It was so wet I have no idea how it didn’t pop out sooner.

I slept well, woke up wet.

But something is off with me. I can’t place my finger on it, but I’m feeling super insecure lately. It’s like a mocking voice in the back of my mind. I have no idea what is causing it, but I’m getting very doubtful ….that’s not the right word, I feel like something is happening and I have my blinders on.