A day with my fucking mother

As I’ve said I really think she’s losing her mind and yesterday was just further conformation of it.

I get into the car and she starts talking about the storm coming in. I tell her the good news that we changed our flight and C and I will be leaving hours prior to the storm hitting. I tell her Little R will come during the week to take care of the dogs and that she won’t need to go there until Saturday morning. She then says give me your supers number so if the weather is bad she can feed them. I turn to her and say, my super is not watching them. I just told you the plan. Her boyfriend had said if the weather is bad he would take her to feed them since he has a large truck. She said why can’t the super, I don’t know maybe because you and R will have my keys? didn’t you hear what I just said. Honestly I don’t know the super well enough and I’d have to pay her. Considering C paid for this trip and I’m going with less spending money that I thought I would thanks to ex-shit head, that’s not going to happen. I talk and she hears what she wants. I asked her politely, please listen and told her again about her, little r and the keys. She said “how does your super not have a key? OMFG…..really, because I have a new lock and just cause she’s the super, she doesn’t have anyone’s keys, it’s not a fucking hotel!

In the craft store….she has a coat with snaps and they are old so every time she sits down they pop, think how a tin of dinner rolls pops. LOL, it’s funny and true. So we are in the sewing isle and she says what about one of those closures like on your dress, so I say ok a hook and eye. She says I don’t know what they are called, I say I just told you….then she says another method and I tell her the name and another and each time she rudely questions me. I tell her that there was no question mark at the end of my statement and that I was telling her the names, not guessing. This is something nana did in the early days before she was diagnosed and it kind of disguises it self as being a confrontation personality. My mother is many things but she knows very well nana taught me to sew and when it comes to closures I do know what I’m saying.

Then we go up to the register. She picked up a box of yarn earlier in the week and it was short by more than half. The customer service supervisor was extremely helpful and had the store pull the rest of the order, minus a couple of things they didn’t have. So knowing yarn, I knew they would not have looked at the batch number. When you have multiple balls of yarn, they all have to be the same batch or you will have slight differences in color quality. So I check them and I tell the girl that none of them matched. She go the manager who actually knew what I was talking about and send a woman to go correct it.

I could have just had my mother pick it up and saved myself the trip to another boro, but it would have ended in a fight. She was bitching the whole time at the register. I told her you just need to be patient. “You really expect this girl at the register to know all of the products?”

I stopped her from causing a scene and we left, with an extra pair of needles and 6 rolls light. Time to call the supervisor tomorrow. I’m not worried and I’m secure they will fix it.

Then she goes on about my ex husband. We had to pick up the tax slips from my aunt. I tell her don’t worry I have a plan. Then she starts on I need to put this behind me and move on. I deserve someone to take care of me, someone to (and I shit you not) get a beach house with…..really life and security is a fucking beach house. At this point I tell her I don’t need anyone to pay my way. I make ends meet and financially I take care of myself.

Back at my house she asks if I’m still seeing Sir and I say yes. She asks are you exclusive and I say no. I figure it’s the easy way to explain it to her. She asks if I’m ok with him seeing other people and I say he doesn’t, but we both can. The look was of horror, “so your seeing other people?” I say”no”.

At this point I wanted to scream in her face that I’m not discussing my relationships because if I do she will not like what she hears.

It brought me back to a conversation she had with my aunt when I was a child. That if I grew up and was gay she would cry for me, she would love me no less but life is hard enough without that stigma attached. One day I’ll tell her that I’m bi, just not today.

I told her when the divorce is finial my stress will be less and not to worry I always take care of me, better than any man has. All she thinks all I need to find someone my equal and someone that will financially support me.

By the time she left I was worse off then this morning, drop seemed like nothing compared to dealing with my mother.

After writing this I realize…. Im very afraid of loosing her. It would be worse than the death of a parent (I’ve been though that before) it would be more like…. Loosing a child.

5 thoughts on “A day with my fucking mother”

  1. Love your kooky mother doll, no matter how insane she makes you. You’ll gonna miss those days, love. Big hugs to you!!! Are you in Puerto Rico yet, snapping your favorite frand some beautiful pics?

    Liked by 1 person

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