3am

something happened last night that hasn’t in a long time. To be exact, since the night before I spoke with Sir for the first time. I woke up at 3am. Not the groggy where am I wake up, but the fully alert, I must be up, panic type of wake up. 

I used to try to get myself back to sleep, after about a month of that I gave up and started going to the gym. Problem with that is im no longer and hour away from the gym and I’d be done working out by 5 ( including a sauna).

I’m trying not to get back to that point of stress again. Hoping it was just a fluke. 

The other day Sir and I were talking about different people and possible play partners. It’s funny because the new people I like, I really have very little attraction too. He asked if there was anyone I was attracted to but didn’t really click with. Nope….if I don’t like a person I don’t find them attractive regardless of looks. He said there’s nothing wrong with a one time thing, even though it’s not what we are looking for. 

The truth is …. I haven’t met a new person in the last 6 months that I’ve had any attraction to at all. Friends …sure, and I occasionally have been known to sleep with my friends, but that’s different than just play. And also a topic of another blog for another time…