It was the best of Times, It was the worst of Times

Why is it that all days that start off great, some how get real shitty at some point?

True to my resolve, I spent the morning and early afternoon taking care of me. It was an amazing day. I went to the gym, worked out hard and hit the sauna for some alone time. Walked around the neighborhood, even got a much needed mani-pedi.

Back home to take a nap, before that a call to Sir. We (due to my health) have not been in our dynamic for a few months and something he said I came back rather…..strongly at? He swung into D mode and gave me a reminder that I was not being submissive. Clamps and pain, followed by orgasms. All while I had the worst  frown on my face. He told me he was not mad many times and I was still his good girl, but my pout (yes better word for it) was still very much on my face.

So I sent him the email he had not seen in a while. lol, that email that its’ over, I’m done, you need a better submissive….blah x3. During the day I was thinking about how unfair all of my issues have been to him and that was sitting, waiting, in the back of my mind. I even told him one of our newly single friends would make a much better partner for him than me.

Her problems are all mental and I know he could “fix” that. Meaning he could help her heal and he has in a dom, but non sexual way. Plus, hell on paper she’s a much better catch. Great body, sweet personality, financially secure, amazing house and she drives. Logically his dream girl (minus the red hair 😉

Over the next hour I explained this though a couple of emails and calls and Sir said that I am worth the wait. I think that horrible insecure side of me just needed to hear that. Sometimes I feel like I’m not and that falling back into a solitary life would make everyone around me happier.

The other good thing that came out of this emotional outburst was my cunt got wet again. Funny it takes him to assert his D side for me to have any physical reaction. Truth lately not even my hitachi on high got me half as wet as him telling me who I was.

(pause for my morning check to make sure little R is alive and to be annoyed by my mother and her 5 phone calls)

After Sir and I worked things out, It was time to go to dinner and Paddles. L&M picked me up and we went to a restaurant where I used to live. It was a place that ex-husband and I went to celebrate and when things were bad to cheer me up. It serves some of the best creole food outside of New Orleans. Part of me wanted to say let’s not go. I told Sir it was my ex’s birthday and part of me was afraid of running into him. I also told him I’m very tired of living my life afraid of the what if’s. Honestly it was my happy place not his, so why the fuck would he be there?

I was also afraid of it being ruined by old memories.Funny thing happened, I got there and I told them how we used to come Sunday and sit at the bar with apps and drinks. It was a good memory and also the spot where they go to celebrate things, like V-day and birthday’s. The waiters and staff knowing me and well as them gave it a friendly and fun atmosphere. When we were seated I told them the last time I had been there was with my mother or lunch on my last birthday and of brunches I had there and at the sister restaurant. Of crank calling our waiter and other jokes the staff has endured at my friends and I’s expense (always being compensated well in the tip after).

The food was amazing I had duck over fresh veg and Alligator bites. So good, it was worth the workout and saving my calories all day for that one meal.

We were all very full and happy and set to have a good time. It was the second boro on what turned out to be a 5 boro night.

More later……the mother is on her way to pick me up. Side-note, really hoping I got all of the wax off of my back. She’s taking me shopping or a birthday outfit and……well that could turn into an interesting talk if I didn’t 🙂

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