Happy tuesday

up early …. Last day of the long weekend and time to get ready for reality again.

Thank you sir for a lovely holiday.

Today you finally get to see the palm trees of bklyn😜

Yesterday the weather was soso and that kept us close to home. So today we play tourist a bit.

And tonight we can say happy tuesday in person.

A lazy day

After a big night out, Sir and I will generally plan to just be.

Yesterday waking rather late I headed to the gym, I don’t want to break that routine. After was just hanging and food and me falling asleep as he got caught up on GOT. I fell bad, but I just can’t watch more than 2 hours of tv (unless I’m knitting) without going into a coma.

Before that I cooked and we had nice chats about the night before and the people we met.

I had an amusing thought….there was a long time I had pondered writing my life story. The early years…I had a title for that. It would carry me through to the start of my marriage. Yesterday it hit me, the title for this part of my life “My perpetually Bruised Ass” Sir had asked when I was going to get the shot in my other hip and the only thing I could say is, “When I have no bruises on my ass” Funny that I’m going to need to plan ahead to make sure my poor ass is mark free 🙂

So today I’m up early, super well rested and finally able to (with my doctors blessing) go to yoga. It’s a nice treat because this is a class I hardly ever go to since I’m working on most Monday mornings.

I set up Sir’s coffee and breakfast items, just in case he wakes up while I’m gone. If the weather clears, we have a nice day out with friends planned. If not maybe a short trip to get some pizza. Yes, the big cheat day….oh how I’ve missed pizza.

Sir also found an event next month that we may go to with FGD. Turns out I had already RSVP’d maybe for it, not realizing what an amazing event it looks like. It’s the type of thing you only want to share with just a couple of close friends, not the crazy big group thing like Saturday’s party. When FG and FGD broke up, I have maintained I will not choose sides, but this weekend has really opened my eyes to the fact that I would much rather be in his company that hers, and I believe Sir agrees. This will be an event that you need to appreciate the visual aspect of things, not really the play stuff. With her, she needs to be the center of attention, not the spectator.


One year anniversary party

Last night was like 100 nights in one. Sir and I had a calm day. N L and M came over early. The plan was to get to the party when it was still rather empty so that we could pick a spot to set up for estim play with a friend doctor H.

As we pulled up we ran into Cane Girl. Not that she uses them as a implement, like me she has a hip injury. She had a play partner with her and we said hi and all did the obligatory shoe change before heading in. I had warned the group, this is not like the other places I’ve taken you. This one the crowd changes all night and at points you need to stay away from the bottom floor….more on that later, as I always forget my own damn advise.

To break down everyone there would take all night. If you’ve ever seen gangs o new york, when all the groups from all the different parts of the city converge at one spot…..that’s exactly what happen. Everywhere we went I said hi, hello, how are you….I really didn’t know just how many people I have mt until last night.

N had her new toys, a hitachi ad a strap on. L has this thing about seeing M Dommed sexually by a woman and honestly I just can’t with her. See her hard limits are my must haves. Sir told N something along the lines of her having to wear the strapon at the party. She just needed to be told to do it and before you knew it she had M in hand and headed to the swinger room. I stayed away, knowing that L was with them and Sir checking to make sure they were safe. We are too good of friends that me around may have thrown her off mentally.

Plus I was on a mission to do my own seen. Then my little French shadow showed up. I’m so glad Sir got to meet him. He’s really hard to explain and I had known I never did him justice to Sir. He’s literally this sweet young polite french guy that has no experience except for the munch we met at and the two clubs we’ve gone to, but he’s adorable.

Oh so during all of this Sir is talking to can girl and Fetgirl and her vanillas show up. This is where life gets complicated. Sir had agreed to give her good pain that’s she’s missed since the break up and with us spending the day with FGD, it was like being ripped apart. I even at one point asked him “is it wrong that I’d much rather be at a party with him than her?”

But now I’m getting off topic. Back to the scene, after much stalking we manage to get a table in the swingers room to set up. Doc H covers all the universal precautions and we decide to do something quick and easy as so much time had past already. Cane girl gave me a nice yet ever so gentle spanking and then I laid down. A pad on my clit and one right past my hole. It is not painful, but so hard to explain. I told Sir that I was really afraid after all of this time and training that I would not be able to not cum. Turns out I was able to really enjoy it and still keep my control. Sir allowed many O’s and I went about 4 rounds. During this fg was kissing me and …god it was so empty. I felt like a tool she was using to get her vanilla guy hard. At one point I almost told her to stop, but luckily she saw the sibian and decided to go for a ride, leaving me to enjoy my scene.

I’m also noticing that as my body keeps changing the exhibitionist in me is starting to come back. Sir finally got to see the outfit from the other week and told me to bring it along. So my slutty little black dress made way for my Domme outfit. Funny when that was on I was able to move a bit easier through the club until later. After I was done I flitted around and somehow lost my little shadow, he had gone home. L M and N played a little on a cross and Sir and I were trying our best to avoid fetgirl….but she found us and the spanking was given. I didn’t realize until then, I don’t think Sir ever saw me top a girl like that. There was not a damn thing sexual about it. Plus I remembered she had said that if you don’t talk to her she gets bored. She was over Sirs knee with a vanilla cock in her mouth and he gave me the crop. So I basically shit talked her sucking ability etc and it felt good to get out my aggression on her as she has caused me and Sir a great deal of stress. I would look at Sir for the “ok” that I was not going over board and he was fine. lol, I guess I showed him a new side of his slave girl.

There were no more scenes for me and I spent the rest of the night socializing. I was trying to find my little threesome to see if they wanted to get breakfast and was walking through the bottom floor alone. Oops…..the fucking crowd had changes and I went to the swingers room to look for them. Luckily I had an older Subbie guy that is in lust with Fetgirl behind me. I took a couple of steps into the room and saw they weren’t there (I was so happy they weren’t) and then tried to leave as a bunch of men blocked me…..I asked them to move, nothing….I tried to push one and then subbie guy grabbed me and got me out. Thank god. He followed me back up the stairs and made me promise not to go back down. That’s a promise I had no problem keeping. You’d think dressed in full Domme gear they would have had a little respect, but nope.

Almost ready to go N still had not used her hitachi. I was talking to a rigger friend and Sir said she had to use it before we left. He found a plug and told me to do it as she was up against the cross. It just really felt super off to me and I made her cum as quick as I could to get the hell out of there.

We played with the idea of breakfast, but it ended up just me Sir and N talking as they ate bagels and coffee.

We chatted until the sun came up and Sir gave N much to think about.

All in all it was a fun night. I’ve checked on everyone an they seen to be good, guess that’s the best I could hope for.




Good vanilla and ? Kink

lets start by saying Dir and I walked 8 miles yesterday. Being a tourist in nyc is hard work!

We started with the met…. Needless to say he lost me to the degas room as he hung out with the other impressionists. I really forgot just how impressive and large that museam really is. 

I always get the question of is your D/s relationship a real relationship and yes it is. We were just a normal couple enjoying art together.

After we shared a pretzel on the stairs, oh carbs how I’ve missed you, but I only had a small bit, Sir even telling me to eat more, knowing that we still had a very long day ahead of us.

FGD came and met us there and off to the cloisters we went. I thought it would be much bigger, but the garden areas were magnificent. We all chatted and had a lovley time exploring. Sir took pictures of me in some amazing light, until we got yelled at by security:)

We stayed for a hawk expo and I was much more impressed with the owls than the Hawks.

After we headed to Dd.

A long talk in the car about fet girl and his want to go to the party she will be at with us tonight. We really tried to talk him out of it. I know it won’t go well.

So we had some time to kill. I got a protein bar, him some pizza. A stroll out on a peir and she still wasn’t ready. So we were giving her 10 more minutes before we headed home. My hip is mich better, but with the amount of stairs and such I was not in great shape.

We came in and talked a bit, poor p was there in nothing but his cage. Sir and them had dinner and he fed me a small bit of salmon. It was sweet as I really did need just a little food. Pp was under the table eating from his dog bowl with her feet on him.

We played a short bit and put a sharpe Mark around the i Je tion site, so it was not accidentally hit. It’s just a bit tender. I have to say if sir was not there, the most enjoyable part of play was getting to sit in childs pose to recover. I really miss yoga this week.

Into the living room and a standing shackle thing. Nice but by that time I really had nothing left to give energy wise. 

After we talked and Id told sir how asexual she was. I get nothing emotion wise from her. Turns out….she’s really not bi. 

My theory is someone must have put it in her head to get a subbie girl for when pp travels.

Oh there’s much more in those discussions, but that’s the highlights.

We took our long 3 train trip home and after taking care of puppies and a tiny food…. Cuddled all night/day. 

I’ve been up a couple of hours too physically exhausted to get out of bed. I was just enjoying the time in his arms.

Today is our lazy day…I’ll head to the gym at some point and cook a good meal, so we are rested and ready for a big night with many friends.

Welcome back

i shared with Sir in a note, that it seems the time between each trip gets longer and longer. 

Last night due to holiday traffic his ride to me was very long. I kept busy completing my list, gyming and even took the dogs for a long walk.

We met half way from the train and a big hug. Back to the house to dro the bags and off for him to get pizza. I’m still sticking to my meal plan, so we brought it back so I could sit and eat with him.

Earlier in the day we were both very horney, but we were exhausted and time talking and cuddling is just as important as the kinky stuff.

So good food and chatting, then a little TV and cuddles, off to bed for more.

Sir said he noticed the work I’ve been doing just by the first hug. It’s funny because I guess since a month has past he sees the progress easier than I do.

Up to get my green drink and weigh in then back for a few cuddles before we head out on an adventure.

Time flies….

yesterday mid afternoon I had 14 things on my list to do after work. 

All things to prepare for Sirs visit. I somehow managed to get 12 done by the time I left this morning, while also fitting in gym time and a visit with N.

Honestly I didn’t sit down until 10pm, logging over 20,000 steps. Hyper mode. At least it kept the drop away that’s been trying to throw me off.

It may come, but at least if I can stay distracted I will be crying in Sirs arms and not holding a dog.

Last night I spent some time educating N about this lifestyle and going more into explaining the internal chemical reactions and how they manifest.

She also promised, when sir leaves and “the big drop” comes she will be there. She even said she’d send the kids to pick me up and weather permitting we would do a nice bbq and swim. So I’m happy that she really knows first hand the issues I face when he leaves. She’s been there.

I’m nervous for this visit. Nervous because ….. It’s been very long since I’ve had many adventures and at last count there’s a possibly for 5 of them along with three vanilla excursions…..

I’m just hoping I can hold it together and not do a freak out. I know I have done that in the past.

But…. Maybe I won’t, since I’m not that girl anymore.

Just trying to get through the day…


i didn’t know until today that every morning I wake up and have trouble getting out of bed. I guess I got used to it????

Yesterday was crazy, so no blog and then by the time I could write, the pain was on a scale of 1-10, a 100,000. I couldn’t sit at the desk and I couldn’t make sense out of my phone to even try writing. I was fast asleep thanks to some left over Meds from c by 10.

This morning…. I just got up. The first time in a long time I sat up like a normal person!!!!

I had got up early yesterday, cleaned the house, did an hour at the gym, all before signing into to work from home. All hell broke loose In a good way as three of my project were closed …. In the midst of that l texted. He offered to go with me to the doctors. Him and n are now in cahoots to take care of me and im was set on going alone. Im prideful and I know I need to knock it off. So an hour before the appointment I gave in. He picked me up and took me to the docs, waiting over an hour, because(shhhh total secret) im soooooo scared of needles that they had to put me out to inject my hip.

I had to tell the doctor that I must have fallen ne ause I still had a bruise from the couple, faded, but still there. After I was like a baby, cold, crying and a bit needy. That’s the part I didn’t want anyone to see. 

Today Sir made me clampy nipple for 5 (only if my hip pain was gone) since he looks forward to my blog and there was none. I don’t speak my feelings nearly as well as I write, so he couldn’t tell how my head was yesterday until he heard the bad pain in my voice.

After the Meds they gave my wore off it was horrible bad pain. Like a major league pitcher threw a home run at my ass!!! Worse than anything, even the last surgery. But I had company from the girls at work and the Meds from c, so once I stopped being a baby and took them, it went away.

I’m so afraid of becoming addicted to medication that I will try anything to not take them.

Now busy, such a big list and only today to do it all:(

But one more day and then I can relax with sir makes it worth this.

I didn’t realize the main reason I gave in and got the shot….. I didn’t want Sor to see me in pain again. We are going out Saturday and if my hip went out and the bad tears started, I just didn’t want to put him though that.

The rest of the weekend…..

the next morning I woke up and chatted a bit with Sir and everyone else. Still way to sick to get out of bed. 

I found out yesterday the reason…. Turns out after my last scene someone handed me a glass that I thought was water, but Nope, it was vodka…. Big oops. I am so not russian.

I managed to rally and keep my plans with little R to meet in union square. A quick stop at century for the cutest baby outfit ever and then a junk store for the classic old CHINESE lady rolling bag. I knew better than to think I could carry anything, as walking was enough of a challenge. 

We met, we shopped, we trader joe liquor stores to the tune of 25 bottles. She’s having a birthday party and I have a very empty wine rack and Sir visiting, so I like to have a selection on hand for entertaining.

In the midst of this FGD was also in the city on a date. We planned it to meet up on his way home so I could get the gloves back to him. As luck would have it….. A few seconds before he pulled up it started to rain.

He was passing through Bklyn and had nothing pending so he dropped me for my second half plans and R home.

So the dancers returned …… 

They are redoing their apartment and staying in bklyn. She’s pregnant and I mean really pregnant. They invited me over for a bbq and a calm night. It’s been 2 months since they had a day off. My hip by this time was horrible…. I gave him a bottle of champagne and her the outfit.

It was nice, but there’s no way I could think of play. The weirest part….it had nothing to do with her being pregnant. Guess I’m getting over that part of my life and letting go of the resentments associated with it.

And technically I already slept with her when she was pregnant so I made a joke that it’s one thing I can cross off the bucket list. All in all it was a nice calm night and I got home around 1ish.

Then sunday…..

Up early, too early. Shopping with mom. The only highlight of that was fitting into a size 4 pants. I really do need to get back to the gym tonight… It was a hard three days and I can’t start to slack off now.

After I had plans to meet a couple for drinks. It took like 2 months to plan this and I wasn’t super excited. At times the guy was more of a pest than anything. Not pushy, but like l….he has too much free time during the day.

Turns out, they were super nice and she cute in a really girl next door way. She has this curly wild hair that I discovered I really like from playing with pizza party girl.

So after 4 hours of chit chat and laughs I finally got to head home and sit down. We made plans… To make plans for another meet. 

I told sir I have all these little finger print bruises on my arms and today it turns out a “hickey” on my neck. 

I’m going to bet it’s a bruise from friday on top of a bruise from last monday.

Little R saw it and she said oh a hickey… Then pushed in it makng me wince and said oh no… That’s a bruise.

So bruised and battered I sit here at work, tired and making lists of all of the things I have to get done before sir arrives.

Letting the Domme Out to Play-Part 2

We all pile in the elevator and I am most excited to see FGD (fet-girls Dom, it’s just too damn long to type every time) reaction to the space. Both he and Sir have a passion for photography and It’s in a professional studio.

We open the doors and I watch his face, just as I hoped this very sad and very lonely man was transformed into a kid in a candy store. There weren’t many people there yet and I knew the female half of the couple would be late since she would be coming from a shoot. I see the male half and he is busy setting things up and talking to people. I give the bartender my bottles and get everyone a drink to have a toast to a fun night.

Right after he is standing next to me and it took him a second to recognize me. He was full of compliments and he also told me that our scene was just great, they have been talking about it for days. I expressed that I was a bit unsure from their perspective if they had gotten what they wanted out of it and he gave an enthusiastic YES. Funny because when sex is not the end of a scene and all parties have not come, I always wonder if the tops are good…. more on that toppy space need thing later. I notice that his babygirl is there and he introduces me to her. Just than my friend from vanilla life and her little group of masochists comes walking through the door. Big hugs and intros all around….it promises to be a good event.

So as this is going on a part of my group breaks off to go smoke a little pot, not my thing, but hey I have my glass of wine and who am I to judge. Turns out L gets a little sick and a for a bit things calm down. One of his Domme friends is there with her subie guy. We all take turns checking on him. N said she wasn’t going to play so of course she is the first person put over a knee…actually a few at the same time. Vanilla friend is getting a spanking by 4 girls on a bench and somehow I end up in that for a couple of moments with L’s pretty purple flogger, my toy of choice for the night.

I still needed my corset tightened and one of her little group is good with waist training. We talk about how we first met with Naked guy in the smoking room. Side note- I should reach out to naked guy and se how he’s doing. Something at a swingers party had turned him off and he went vanilla for a while.but, back to the story…..

Some how vanilla friend says or more like declares she doesn’t bruise, challenge accepted, I think every Dom in the room perked up at that moment. Based on a prior conversation I know her weakness that the other D types don’t….that’s FF sensual play. So she’s bent over a couch and me and another dom are taking turns…I see she’s not reacting well to him So I step in and pull her hair back and that sigh escapes and I kiss her…long hard and deep.at some point FGD steps in with the licking stick. A implement she both hates and loves. I tell her my records is 30 straight strikes and she plays the frightened little girl up…but I know she is going for that record. We all like a challenge.

I go in front of her…lots of hair pulling and kissing and a little lite breath play. I pull her on top of me and he is giving her her licks. I see she’s loosing it and starting to subspace so I start to play with her clit and in less than a minute she is coming hard and as she does we both tumble….well not tumble but more like propel head first off the couch and I end up in a head stand back bend with her on top of me….We are all hysterical laughing and n and the crowd are yelling check her hip. Turns out the entire place was watching this scene and in a flash I’m being helped up and all of us check out ok. FGD takes her from her knees and puts her on his lap and she later tells me she had one of those really subbie moments that when they are with new partners kinda freaks you out because it’s a deep connection that gets you off guard.

I’m checking in with everyone and M is getting a spanking by N…lol, cool and unexpected. Then somehow she ends up on the spanking bench with L. He was feeling much better and they had a really long scene. I look and say water, she needs water. So with cup in hand I go over and tell her drink…..she doesn’t so pulling her head up by her hair….I tell her again, be a good girl and drink. She gives me a stupid subbie drunk on endorphin’s smile and I get her to slowly drink the entire glass. By now it’s getting late. The female half of the couple had shown up during all of these scenes and we say hi, big hug and she also compliments the outfit and funny sexy scene she just witnessed. She looked so tired and you could tell she really wanted to just be home in bed.

It was around the time the first wave of people were leaving and FGD was going to go.  He thanked me for a good night and rather than bad mouthing Doms like i normally would I asked him respectfully if he would give me a head massage with these metal nailed glove he had. The head massage turned into an all out scene. Another super sensual but slower scene. After I went to get up and thank him and he pulled me onto his lap and it was weird because in that moment all I could recall was the look on his face when he first said I lost my baby girl and it made me see first hand that yes, Doms need aftercare too. We cuddled with my head on his shoulder until we were both ok again. Funny in all of this time knowing and the many times we played, it was the first time we ever gave each other aftercare. It would always end up with the girls cuddling and then he would keep playing with others. It was also sad to see how much he missed the “after”. Emotionally I was amazed that instead of thinking, “crap, would Sir be ok with this, I thought “Sir would be proud of me”. I put all the fear of FG’s reactions and my insecurities to the side and took care of my friend and myself in return.

Everyone said a big goodbye to him and all promised to go out again this coming weekend. As he left I looked at where we were sitting and on the floor were his beautiful custom made gloves. N saw and I put the right into my bag. Later on we let hime know I had them and he was so happy. Out of all of his toys they are by far his most favorite.

As usual we were there until the bitter end and as we had gottne ready to leave I had to take that outfit off, so screw my self esteem issues, Boots off and slippers on, corset back in the bag and dress off…..at that point why even bother going to the bathroom to change, everone left there was a friend and I would not have made it back home in that dress.

As soon as we were in the care I passed out. When I came to, god I hurt. My hip went out and just tring to get out of the care had this little masochist in tears. Nand M both helped me into the apartment. N told me yesterday that she had offered to stay but I wouldn’t let her. I ended up getting sick in the bathroom from the pain and made it into bed to call Sir at 5;30 am I was all tears and not really talking in a way he could understand but I just needed to hear his voice to go to sleep.

6 hours later it was time to check on everyone and when I picked up my phone each and everyone had already texted me:), including the female….



Letting the Domme Out to Play-Part 1

So with all the anger and crap from Friday’s work day and not being able to get a good spanking I only had one viable option left.

I got home and I’ve been picking up things I liked clothing wise for the past couple of month (totally on the cheap) and making them goal outfits. I was pretty sure a dress I brought on my birthday would fit and I had an idea…..

I am sometimes a bit of an attention whore. It’s a part of me that really hasn’t showed itself at the parties. There was just enough time to get ready. Hair- big wild and curly, Makeup with eyes as dark as night and the new dress, my good old corset and knee high 5 inch spiked boots. I texted N- you have to see this I just made myself into Fetish Barbie. Hell I even went to victoria secret and brought a new black thong. Little known fact- I hate thongs!!! The outfit really did call for it.

I knew I couldn’t do anything really sexual since I had gotten my period. The hard impact was out because I need a clean ass by Tuesday for my hip injection. Also in the back of my mind was a little voice saying…..whatever you do don’t play with Fet-girls Dom. I really did think she was going to show up unannounced and I sure as shit didn’t want to be in a scene with him when that happened. Nor did I want to get nasty texts from her the next day. So 2 out of my 3 resolutions were kept.My other motivations for he outfit were amusing (at least to me) I knew it would be something Sir would love to see, but not something we could go out in. It was not play friendly, meaning you couldn’t get to my tits 🙂 and he hates hair that he can’t run his fingers in. The last reason and one that for my personality is the most unusual, I wanted to get the attention of the couple I played with on Monday, mainly ….hers.

The plan was meet at my house by 10 and get there by 11. N l and m all showed up with in minutes of each other and by the look on their faces when I opened the door- I had succeeded in my S&M (stand and model) look. We met fet-girls Dom and smg outside of the party and were all in a pretty high and happy mood. My original invite list was 18 strong and 7 ended up showing, wich for this group is a pretty good number.

Fet girls Dom had a most interesting reaction to my outfit, saying wow this is a side of you I’ve never seen and laughed. I told him tonight he has a partner in Domming and all I want to do is beat pretty girls.