Bittersweet

It wasn’t until I saw my mother that I realized the “issue” I was having finding something to wear. When I moved to bklyn I had found a hanging bag of dresses that I guess I’d hid from myself. This whole time looking for a dress, in the back of my mind I knew I had these there, but I didn’t know if I could stand to put one on.

The dresses are a full decade old. I didn’t worry about style, since the majority of my clothing has always trended to retro and classic. I also wasn’t concerned about size since I am exactly the same size as I was then.

My worry……..they were dresses purchased for my honeymoon and a rash of weddings I had to attend shortly after. Before opening the bag I tried everything that I had and nothing was working. One was too business, one too big, one way to “from the Little R collection” So I kinda purposely backed myself into a corner. I choose my favorite a nude slip with a black lace overlay, backless and tea length.

My mother saw me and said, “oh, I haven’t seen that dress in a while. It looks totally different, somehow better”. The rare compliment from her, I knew at that moment she realized when the dress was purchased. She later said that it was strange to see that dress and it showed her the woman I had become. I wore it with a confidence I lacked the first time.

Throughout the night I received many compliments and it was a wonderful time. When I got home I hung the dress in with the rest of my clothes, not returning it to the bag of memories that I found it in. I guess it’s time to decide what I keep from that time and what is going in the trash.

The nice thing is now I will look at that dress and remember the night my dear goddaughter celebrated her sweet sixteen, instead of ……..all the other stuff.