How yoga is the same

I often have very random realizations. My Tuesday night teacher at the end of each practice will add some verbal meditation.

She changed the class from a down and dirty, hard fast vinyasa flow to a candle light yoga. For me…. That’s a much more difficult class. For the others it’s easier. I want quick move breathe connect….. Hit subspace repeat. For others they don’t have the form or experience to get into pose quick, so they take time and im stuck there holding a pose like its bikram….and I hate bikram. I know for her job security she had to change it as her class size went down to only 4 of us that could keep up.

She kept one flow just for me….she knew I’d get frustrated and want to leave.

But…. The random thought, “when You are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, we are one”. To me this perfectly describes the D/s dynamic. 

Long ago Sir and I spoke of the meshing and balance and I realize that’s been what has been missing with my play partners. 

That’s why I’ve been refusing aftercare. There’s been no bond, neither of us got to that place….and that place is different but when we both get there…. That’s when the meshing happens. 

It can be in a long term relationship and if the chemistry is right can exist in a scene. I learned that last night. 

I think last night everyone left that scene getting what they needed. Or at least that’s my hope.

Sir said to think of a year ago compared to now. 

A year ago Sir would have found them, planned it and probably would have been there or at least given me about 5 pep talks before hand. Now a year later, none of that was nessessary, but as soon as I woke up this morning I said please let there be an email from him. I Gues I still have that little bit of “is he ok with this left in me”.

So she messaged to check on me and asked for feedback….im really not sure what to say. My only hope is that it was as good of a first time scene for them as for me.

I slept last night hugging my pillow, im still not great with the going home alone part. 

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