Connection vs attachment

something I thought of yesterday.

I guess it’s related to that post about making service doms.

On Monday I had a discussion with the female half that I think started that thought. Don’t know how the topic came up but I think it was me asking how long they had been together.

He just moved in and they were still in the process of organizing things and making room in an apartment she has had alone for years.

When they first got together he had lived with another woman, a sub I believe. When they broke up, she kept the dogs and he was still getting used to not having his pets. Somehow this conversation flowed to her saying….. It’s funny because his subs all fall in love with him and he doesnt understand that.

He’s one of the few doms I know that has a pick of the single female subs. I’ve seen it and find it ….. Weird. I’m not saying he’s not fun to play with. I’ve never seen a scene that looked bad and he is very caring to them, but I can’t see the “why” in it.

From the get go I was very clear on wanting to play with her, not him and I think that caught her almost off gaurd. He even thanked me for playing with her at the party because she hardly ever gets to let loose and have fun, always worried about hosting instead.

It took a few days but I’m realizing that I’m compartementalizing  people and staying detached because I’m afraid of becoming attached.

At the same time im searching for a connection. I’m tired of these “empty” scenes I’ve been having. I mean I write about them and in the moment they are fun. But like when a director yells cut…. Boom, it’s over.

So is the answer to get over my fear of attachment? Or to find a way of being ok living in the moment?

Analytically I see the value in both of these.

Both would open me up to new experiences and growth. I just don’t know….what path to choose???

I choose this topic over the other two because…. Little R is a frustrating one and the other will give me cunt brain and I can’t be in that state of mind right now.

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