Sir had wanted me to write about the tens unit play that happened at the party Saturday. Document it before it goes fuzzy……but I’m on the edge.
Since he’s been gone, I’ve kept busy. Work is crazy, but good. The days go by so fast and I hate to say it but not having little R there is going to be extremely good for my career. I’m getting things done and organized better than ever before.
I was going to blog earlier today, but I was having a chat with cane girl. She’s a Domme and I saw her post a question on a fet board asking about top drop. Ugh, been there and oddly I think I kinda was there after Sunday, just not processing it. I had a few issues with Fet Girl and the feelings of being used by her to keep her vanilla man’s dick hard. I also felt that I allowed my anger at her to seep into the spanking scene and I was pretty brutal with the words I used. The rational part of me knows…it’s ok, she gets off on that shit, but I don’t and I would have called red if I was spoken to in that manner.
That bothered me much more than I’ve been letting on and it wasn’t until talking her through her drop that I was able to figure out why I’ve been so preoccupied. I’ve been edgy and really hyper productive. I just figured it was because I Subbed and Dommed in the same night. Processing that is really very hard for me. One day I’ll figure out the why behind that.
I did the best I could for her and even invited her to what I’m calling sub drop support group night out (tomorrow night). I’m pretty good at looking at the calendar and guesstimating when I’ll drop, so today took me a bit by surprise. I’m just crawling in my skin right now and after a long and uncomfortable night with my family (straight from work) I just really needed to go to the gym. That’s not normal, I hate going to the gym late at night. It becomes a meat market and I can’t usually block out that aspect of it. I had so much pent up anger that I went hard and fast for a good 45 minutes on the elliptical. I even had a 20 something ask me how I can do that and not even look winded. I said so what??? Not understanding that I do an interval/balance routine that most younger people can’t do. I told him…do yoga, get centered and let go. I was searching for a runners high. In a way it’s good my knees and hips are already shot because I’d be running marathons every time I’m on the verge of drop.
I just need to make it through work tomorrow. I made a deal with myself. If I get on the scale tomorrow and loose anything, I’ll go for a mani-pedi after work, if not I have to do an hour more of cardio.
I don’t think I can write about the scene except to say It was like nothing I’ve ever felt. I didn’t want it to stop except when I realized that…..that’s when I said enough. It could be very addictive and I have to much of an addictive personality for that. Poor hitachi has now been bumped down to third, no fourth on my list. First is the machine, then the tens, then that damn fire hose (I swear I will get one of those yet) and then my trusty toy.
It was like laying on a beach in perfect weather with a cool breeze…perfect, then having someone but a low pulse vibrator on you that penetrated all the way to every nerve ending. It was the kind of feeling that you could just lay there and enjoy for hours, not cuming but really enjoying.
Time for bed…..I need to wake up and finish all of the stuff I’ve started today.