Don’t worry, be happy

I really wasn’t sure if making plans to go out last night was the right thing to do. Sometimes I have a habit of filling my life with so many events that I don’t have to deal with any emotions.

I was also a bit afraid of meeting with the couple and basically eating crow by telling them the honest truth, which is mentally I couldn’t meet them this week. It really went so much better than expected. He pulled me aside after I talked with her and gave me a big hug, telling me that they are there, I need anything just reach out. I look at other groups and people, not just in the lifestyle and it makes me realize how lucky I am to have so many really good people surrounding me.

I look back and I have no clue as to how I ended up the fearless little leader of this group, but when we went into paddles I was running around saying hi to this one and that and giving the newbies a tour )no tour guide last nigh). One asshat Dom stopped me and was like “hey, are you the owner) I gave him the look of death and he sucked his teeth and turned away. Creepy fuck was perpetually in my sight the rest of the night throwing me dirty looks, but with a third of the club being my friends, he lacked the opportunity to say anything. I had seen him there a few times and once overheard a conversation he had about a scene he had just done…..he’s one of those I’m Dom suck my cock kind of guys and not in a that is her fetish kind of way. I don’t forget when I run into people like that.

So FGD and I were both in a really shitty mood this week, but by last night, we threw all of that manic energy into scenes. Normally we do maybe 2 spankings, that’s it. Most OTK, hardly any implements. Last night was different, both of us needed to get to that headspace and we did a damn good job of it.

the first one on a spanking bench, just a warm up with hand and belt and those amaing gloves. I’d love to break it down, but let’s face facts, I have a shit memory for things going on once I hit subspace. The second was after I checked in with Sir. The female had asked if we could play and I really wanted to.

So we went back in and “I’m not playing tonight N, was in a scene with the male” ha, she didn’t even last an hour without playing. So we got this great spot with A big mirroe, bench and ceiling cuffs past the cages and set up. I don’t remember much but for a second she had dissapeared and I notice. FGD picked up on it and went to get her. Turns out she was going to go get some toys from her bag. FGD like the idea that I could watch the scene in this room and for the first time in a very long time I felt sexy. Not cute or pretty but I felt hot. We all played and I later found out she bit my ass. Funny how things happen and you have no clue, but it all felt insanely good.  After we went back upstairs and I checked in to say goodnight to Sir. I was on-time! Go me, I have a real habit of totally loosing track of time in clubs and I’ll think it’s only 5 minutes passing, turns out to be 2 hours 😦

FGD wanted to try my new flogger. So take 3. Crap I must have brought the world most thuddy/stingy flogger ever. Then he pulled out the rope, I really never saw him do rope, but I know he went to many rope events. The only thing we were a bit disappointed in is that a local rope performer had rsvp’d but didn’t show up. The rope was not the noral tie the girl up to be pretty but a tool for more impact. I know at one point I was in a full bending back-stand. After since it was the first time we tried something new, we spoke of it and he in the moment had forgotten how much yoga I did and was concerned that the back-bend was too much.

As this was going on everyone else was playing and having a good time. The female was happy and giddly over the ass bites.

I had been planting the seed to hook up N with FGD and last night they exchanged numbers. N also was asked by the male for private play and truthfully they are the only Doms (other than Sir) I would have no safety issues with her exploring with.

There was one slight misstep last night. As we were leaving FGD still very much in Dom space asked if I thought there would be  a problem with him driving me home and coming in. I gavae him that nope face and said I’m sorry but no. He instantly snapped out of it and said, Sir would not approve and I said yes that is a hard limit. He apologized and I know he was really just wrapped up in the night and the scenes. To him and FG has always said this, BDSM is just foreplay to sex. The strange thing is that was the first time I have ever just been able to say No. No second thoughts, no hesitation. I am still amazed at time of the confidence I have that has been lacking all of these years.

When I got home, he texted so sorry about how he ended the night as he cook himself mac and cheese. Funny when a Dom has to learn the basics of survival ( mainly in the kitchen) I told him don’t worry about it. Our emotions were running really high last night and what I didn’t say was, thanks for the self esteem boost.It’s nice, even when totally inappropriate to be propositioned.

The couple and I left it off that we are going to make plans to meet up this week. He’s still so impressed with how much she likes me, as she really hardly likes anyone. Sound familiar Sir? Turns out the meeting with the Sub had not gone well and it really was good we didn’t meet up as both of us were not in a good place to play.

I woke up this morning, on my 10th wedding anniversary not thinking of my wedding day, but thinking I am lucky to have so many people around me that care.

 

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