Pools and Tears

Yesterday was a really mixed up day.

I initially started at my aunts house. They were all working as I relaxed in her rather cold pool. In the mid-afternoon C picked me up and the rain rolled in, turning a bright and sunny day gloomy. We had some good food and a couple of drinks. When the weather let up a bit we decided it was safe to swim, so with just a light drizzle we got into the pool.

Plans are set for the next holiday weekend and we’ve decided to stay closer to home than we previously planned. She’s still asked no questions regarding me telling her that I’ve gone to BDSM clubs……don’t even know if she ever will.

Back home in time to give the little doggies some good bklyn pizza from Sir.

Only moments to spare and FGD was the first to arrive. With in a half an hour the whole group was chatting and laughing in my living room. At about 11:30 I kicked them out and told them to go have fun!

It’s way too early, so no one is awake to tell me if last night was good. N did send me a text at 3am saying they were leaving, so at least they were there for a while.

Poor Sir had to deal with me crying bad tears after everyone left. It was a combination of bad pain, wine and missing him. Oh how he would have liked everyone coming over before the party and hanging out.

Today…back to the pool. I’m getting super frustrated with myself. I’m done with being broken. I just wish I could rewind and have a redo on the past 4 months. I don’t know how I could have allowed myself to get this bad. Sadly…that won’t happen and I just need to focus on fixing the damage that’s already been done.

I need some lap time. I wish being hugged didn’t hurt:(




One thought on “Pools and Tears”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s