Bitchy slave

Regardless of the people that have been sucking my life force….im bitchy.

It’s like a raging drop…sad and angry. Why are we such addicts to this crap? 

Just because I’m hurt, I turn into an asshole. The more I try not to be the worse I get.

I don’t know how Doms do this crap. Deal with us I mean. Right now my needy level is off the charts, for no reason. My life is ok (knocks on wood). 

Last night (until the bitchy incident) was ok. Met a new couple, they live 2 blocks away and are nice. Not super kinky, but vanilla kinky. At least they are cool people to talk too. 

I’m looking forward to tonight much more. FGD and N and the female will be joining me for a night of art in the city. 

Oh and im hangry….. Another side effect of no gym….I want carbs:(

I have all really good stuff planned and if I could just get well enough to do some cardio or get a light spanking I know I’d be normal again.

Big problem, I don’t like needing these things. It comes from my fear of dependence. I know it’s an addiction and sometimes I feel like if I can get past the withdrawal I’ll be fine.