Back here again

i didn’t realize how much I missed this mad house. 

Oddly (knocking on wood) it’s pretty calm in the office today.

So yesterday I kinda broke my me day declaration. I sent a text to C, something told me she needed to get out. Asked her to join me at the beach. Knowing she’s in a mood I told her I’d take the bus there. She was twisted that I didn’t want to go to a concert the night before. In my defense, it was outside and there was a threat of thunderstorms. 

Plus what I didn’t quite get at the time the band was a typical one hit wonder and the song they sang was one I associate with my exhusband and i’s initial separation. It was actually on a play list called “fuck you, I want a divorce”.

So back to yesterday….. I give her directions and she says she’s leaving. Im half way there and figure she should arrive a few minutes after me.

Im laying there and 45 minutes pass. Cell reception is poor, so I pack my stuff and go to the boardwalk. Text her “eta?”. I get back 15min. Ok maybe there was traffic. So I call to explain where I’ll be and she says 15 minutes before she leaves the house. Wtf, she then said why are you leaving? I tell her I’ve been on the beach almost an hour already. See if I stay on the beach longer than 2 hours my face turns red and I get that horrible brown leather bag color that gives away the slight Italian part of my heritage. So I say yes, by the time you get here I’ll be on my walk to coney. 

She then blames her daughter, turns out that was bs. She ended up going back to bed. Later I get more passive Agressive posts on social media. She was fighting with her husband. So for a bit, im going to check on her from a distance. Im getting her redirected anger and I really don’t deserve it.

So after that I said go back to the plan…. Stay with the idea of a day of selfishness. I told sir, im shutting my phone off. I went back to the beach, picked a new spot. The people near by we’re playing music that I could pretend I was on a beach in Cuba or Pr. After I walked to coney then walked to the end of the peir and back to get my bus.

Came home blasted music, cooked, sang and cleaned. By 8pm I was fighting sleep, so exhausted in a very good way.

Side note: Luna balls don’t work anymore, sorry sir, but they do nothing for me. It feels more annoying than anything else, like a too big tampon:(

2 thoughts on “Back here again”

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