no, not really. I think it was more too much denial. I believe I had a total sexual shut down.
For the first time my brain overtook my body and basically gave Sir a big middle finger. Side note: totally getting my period and it explains my less than nice mood.
He said put the clovers on my clit and after an eye roll, nothing….. I stood there like, crap, not even the slightest bit of pain or pleasure. It was like my body was numb.
Then hitachi on the chain….. Yup, same shit, no reaction. See what I know is doing these physical tasks myself is never what gets me off, it was doing it for him that causes the reaction.
My very spiteful brain decided, Nope, too much denial. Not complying. Yet as what will happen, my vanilla clit eventually gave in and with no pain and just the wand started to come back to life. It wasn’t a conscience reaction.
After on good orgasm I was a bit better. The problem is I’ve been shut down to sir….. Not on purpose.
He said something that freaked me out a bit. He asked if I only come from spanking. Oh the horror of that thought. For a few minutes I really thought it might be true.
The house is ready and tonight is just last minute stuff and me prep. N will stop by for a bit.
I really have nothing else. Im trying to shut out all of the stressful people today. I have enough of my own shit to deal with.
Wait there was one thing….. For the first time in years I slept in the middle of the bed. I know that sounds like nothing but I haven’t done that since 2005. It’s like a claim on my independence. Lol, the independant slave….