Searching for balance 

this visit sir saw a new side of me and it wasn’t a good one. He knows from our many conversations that my interactions with others really affect me.

The occasional freak outs that I have a started by others actions. 

After my visit with fet girl and the widow he saw what would normally be a prelude to me calling him in an uber emotional state.

He had never seen the anger, hurt and sadness that comes before I make my calls to him. 

This time he saw it…..this time he put me on his lap and calmed me down. 

Im trying to find a way to balance feeling too much or nothing at all. I have no inbetween setting.

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