Things I never say

There was a time in my life, there were things I would never say. “Sorry I was a bitch” “I don’t mean to be like this” “I can’t just get over things”. It was the same time in my life I said things I never say now. “I love you” “you mean the world to me”. 

I’ll throw out a text….u2, even when my mother ends a conversation says love and miss you.

I say “miss you” too much.

I didn’t notice this until yesterday. Our day to day vocabulary speaks volumes about our lives.

Sir may not realize how much I speak to him as opposed to others. I tell him what I feel, usually when I feel it. There are many times I don’t want to or can’t find the words, or even worse, they come out as anger, an explosion even. 

But I’m trying….

I hope that is enough.

I know, not the happiest blog, but read between the lines and you’ll see it’s hopeful.