The wedding

The past few weeks much of my time has been spent in preparation for the wedding.

L from worked walked down the isle yesterday and for the first time I cried. I’m not the weepy type at weddings, I usually reserve my tears for funerals. These were happy tears.

The chaos started the day before.

Her hair stylist told her the price he was charging and then said for the bridesmaids it would be 150 a girl, just for the hair. WTF……???? This was not red carpet hair they were asking for, so I told L, listen, how many are there? I knew I might have to do one or two and maybe help with the makeup, but I told her “tell him to go fuck himself, I got this. I will do them all plus your makeup” I also told her whatever money they would have paid me, give to you and crack open my envelope, that will cover his fee for your hair.

My cab was originally set for 6:30, I told her move it up an hour and I will wake up by 4, so that when I get there, I’ll be totally awake and ready and just need to slip on my dress at the hall. PS, due to my nerves I was up and going at 3:30 am.

Thank god I did, the ass hole took 2 hours on her alone, that left me a whole 20 minutes for her makeup and we headed to the hall with it half done. So , me, who hasn’t done a bridal party in almost a decade, did for waterfall braids and barrel curls in the time this overpriced ass did just the bride and I really hate to say it, but it was something she could have gone to the 10 Chinese place and gotten the same thing.

The wedding itself was beautiful, the food was great. Her husband and friends did the dance “all the single ladies”, a tribute to last Halloween when these big chubby Irish guys went in full drag and heels to a Halloween party. Little R was there with her stupid boyfriend. He said Hi and bye and that was it. He doesn’t care enough about her to even say anything about the fights they’ve been having due to what he views as my fault. R looked beautiful, yet way too slutty. She was initially pissed because I didn’t wear the dress she lent me. God I could never wear that to anything but a high school prom themed fetish party, it was horrible and just not something anyone my age should wear.

What I did end up wearing was amazing and hurt, oh god did it hurt! I told Sir it makes my Fetish clothes seem comfortable. I actually have bruises on my legs from this dress. One of the bridesmaids had worn the same dress to a wedding the week before. I asked her the most important question, “How did you pee?” Sadly she tried to pull it up and ended up ripping it, so I had to have a spotter all night to unzip and zip me. I almost want to go to the next sample sale and buy it, rent the runway has one coming up and even the amount of pain it caused, it was a stunner. I looked like a classy Betty Boop. It was nice to see some tangible proof of the hard work I’ve put in since last march.

After the wedding was over a group of about 15 headed back to their apartment. The one bridesmaid that I was going to cab home with puked outside of her house, so in an effort not to be covered in vomit, I stayed longer than I had intended. I helped the puker clean up and change, got her into the cab with her boyfriend and headed back up for a short game of Cards against humanity. Since the dress was now off and I could breathe, I inhaled a slice of pizza, the food at the wedding was great, but I could only sample it for fear of “the dress”.

Back home and my bed had never felt so good.

As I left big hugs and tears from the bride thanking me for all I’ve put up with in the past year she planned the wedding and for coming through at the last minute. Truth, I knew from the second we set the plans to do the makeup, I’d end up stepping in at the last minute. That is the reason I no longer work  doing bridal parties.

Today I’m off, really not to sleep in, but to unwind, to let the stress I carried for her dissipate.

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