I survived 

The meetingathon is over, well at least for a week:)

Yesterday, wow, I’m really surprised I made it through without passing out.

Work, then aireal with crazy lady for her birthday. She’s totally hooked and can’t wait to go back.

Then to meet Sir, do a little shopping and home. He was just as tired as me, quick food, unpack and time for bed.

Cute and funny, we both purchased Christmas present for each other and for very different t reasons, exchanged them last night. 

Right now, I’m just hiding at work. I have my electric throw on and I’m doing as little as possible. I’m sore, like crazy sore. Hoping the chiro and estim(the medicinal, not the fun one) does it’s magic after work. 


Cousin drama-part 2

But first…. I got a break from the non stop soul sucking meetings!! Woo hoo, may not need to join until the afternoon.

So, ended up meeting up with the singer last night, turns out the very juicy sounded story about the golden child, well… not as juicy as hers, so I’ll start there.

As I said there are many many cousins… and the golden child thinks her shit does t stink. Now in a quick summary of the other ones, there’s a few addicts, some house wife’s, a doctor, a failed “business”man, oh even one that had to leave Chicago due to a boyfriend gang involvement. 

When you’re related to such a dirverse group of fuck ups and the odd success story, it’s pretty easy to think you’re doing ok in life.

The golden child and the brother in laws wife were best friends. Another cousin also was part of that click. They had money and husbands and kids. On the outside you’d think total American dream type of people.

The third cousin was married to a guy that was part of the “family” business. He was the fathers partner in a construction company. The father was a horrible alcoholic and something happened that caused a chain reaction, they lost their house, cars, claimed bankruptcy (geez, that sounds familiar) and ended up on the balls of their asses in a small one bedroom apt.

To the golden child this was not acceptable so with little regard for the dirty secrets the poor cousin knew, kicked her out of that group. Bad move!

Girls are evil and this is further proof. Since the poor cousin was scorned by this, she proceeded to dish out the dirty secrets to the entire family.

The gossip, not as great as I thought. When is asked how the husband deal with it…. it’s been going on for years, they are either swingers, cockholds or just turning a blind eye since they also have side pieces. The singer said she does t know exactly how this all came about since she was so wrapped up in her addiction she was blind to the drama unfolding.

The other story will have to wait, since that will take even longer and I have a ton to do before I get out of here later

Cheating…just a little

My week is hell at work.

See this blog and all it’s many typos is mainly written at my desk early in the morning, then finished later as the day goes on.

This week….is the week I’ve been dreading. A year long project is kicking off and if I can get through this, well it will be my crowning achievement on my resume.  This could be the one thing that can move me to the salary I need to get the address I desire.

The downside and yes, there is always a downside….I have not a moment of free time. Example, by my schedule I should be sleeping now. I wanted to take the couple of minutes as I am crashing from the day and a good hard yoga practice to at least put something down for Sir to read when he wakes.

As far as yesterday’s story….that will have to wait. I will see my cousin the singer tomorrow and get the rest of the drama. I must say I’m super excited to see how this story is going. I mean really it’s not ending, but more a strange parallel to my own life.

Also once again, after licking my wounds, I’ve started looking again for that very illusive local girl. I have three meets and greets coming up. I hold little hope and that’s ok. Usually when I don’t think things will work out is when the universe surprises me. So I hold on to that. One is single, very new, we can see where that goes. Another is in a couple, but open and looking for the same thing as me. The last is married and unlike the others (swinger) is a Domme, into decadence and trained by someone I respect, no, more than respect, admire to the fullest.

The sad part of that….I in a small part  of my heart wish that O was more accessible. She is the only woman that makes me feel at ease not just physically but on a more spiritual level. I have a habit of bonding with people that are just not available. I swear I do this shit on purpose. I’ve always lead with my heart and I need to stop that crap.

Oh I forgot to say one thing, The other day when N stopped over her husband accused her of being a lesbian! Oh we laughed at that. Longer story there, but for once the stupid SOB is actually on the right track:)

Family gossip

As few know I actually come from an amazingly large family. The reason I can count on my fingers the relatives I speak with? Well I happen to be the spawn of two teenage black sheeps.

In high school my ex husband introduced me to one of my female cousins(the golden child) She was a year younger than me. She introduces me to 20 ( not exaggerating at all) more cousins. They all lived on a dead end in two side by side mirror image mini mansions. Brothers that each had 10 children.

So I went from hardly any family to more family than I could ever comprehend. We were the best of friends for a couple of years, then her drinking got really bad. I think crazy m also had a part in us not speaking. She met some guy at work and last I had heard (approximately 20 years ago) she was getting married.

She had introduced me to another cousin in the other house (the singing cousin) two years younger than me. She was cute and sang when she spoke, but was always getting into trouble. She was their black sheep.

The singing cousin:

We never were the best of friends, yet as life progresses we would hear of each other or run into each other. The last time I saw her I was in a bagel store, right before I got engaged. 

Oddly she popped up on Facebook andi could tell that something was up with her. 

She recently ended a relationship with a very bad junkie and got herself clean (at least for the past 9 months). She’s always been easily influenced and hanging out with bad boys was her thing.

Turns out we work in walking distance from each other, both do yoga and recently lost a bunch of weight.

So we set up a time to go to a class and catch up.

She had some drama with her ex and postponed. We are meeting up tomorrow, so we texted a bit this morning and that’s when I found out the real story of my long lost other cousin….

The golden child drama:

Now to preface this, we are really second cousins. I became very close with the golden child at the same time as crazy m and my ex Dom story. She was both my drinking and dancing partner. At that time I was very open with my friends regarding being bisexual, the closest to being out as I’ve ever come. Everyone thought we were together, but nope, too much of an icky factor in that.

She had gotten a job in the trade center (years later I checked the paper every day to see if she was one of the dead). She met a guy there and fell in love. He was what she was raised to want. Good looking, wealthy, connected. 

Since he was all of that… she had to change some stuff. I recall her telling me early in her job she went out for thirsty Thursday, drank shots of jack, fell off the bar stool and through a plate glass window in the bar. Pretty sure there’s more to that story since she’s a hundred pounds and 5 ft tall. So that had to change. Hanging out with her “crazy cousin”had to change and she rather quickly dissapeared.

I got in touch with her when her dad died to give my condolences, when I got married, since it was to her friend, but we never reconnected. I knew she went on to have 3 kids with this guy, I wrongly heard she moved out of state. In passing I mentioned her to my singing cousin and I got the best response ever!!!

“Do you know my cousin doesn’t talk to any of us anymore?”

I said she always thought she was better than everyone else.

Nope that’s not why! The golden child is now the black sheep. Now this part took lots of texting, as it is very confusing 

So my singing cousin has a sister marry to a guy.

The guy has a brother married to a woman, let’s called her z.

The golden child cousin is still married to the mobster. 


Has a primary sexual relationship with Z!!! My question of course, how are the husbands dealing with this? I know damn well how my very catholic Italian side of the family is reacting.

Damn girl left me with a cliff hanger and a promise to talk later tonight.

Busy weekend

This weekend I made it a point to get things done and balance that with do things I want to.

I realized early into the planning stage the only way to make sure I could do that was to do the things I wanted to alone.

I made plans with 4 people and 2 cancelled. I was happy they did. I’m not normally like that, but I’ve honestly had enough of many people in my life.

Starting tomorrow work will become impossible. So I’ve spent the morning looking for apartments. I told the super if the issue we have is not taken care of this weekend, I will be breaking my lease and moving as soon as I can afford too.

Truth I can’t afford to do anything right now. Even worse, I’m looking and there’s nothing in my price point that looks liviable.

I thought this was all over last night, but nope.

So today I’m keeping quite. I don’t want to talk to anyone, see anyone, be near anyone, at least while I’m at work.

It’s just a haunted house…

Lol, or if you are a ballsy teenage girl, who likes to talk shit about how you love all things horror related, it’s the shit nightmares are made of.

I mentioned in passing this summer that I’ve always wanted to go to this haunted prison in Philadelphia to L and his daughter. L is big on doing for others, so he made it his mission to assure that I went. His daughter the shit talking teenager said she wanted to go to.

Now this is no 10 minute in and out funhouse. It’s an hour long. they start to get you as soon as your in a block of the attraction. Over the last month the teenager started to realize through the interwebs just what her big mouth got her into.

By the time we pulled up and parked 10 blocks away, she was in full breakdown mode. Tears streaming down her face and all I could do was laugh. That’s my reaction to this stuff. so I told her you can hold onto me, I won’t put the glow in the dark necklace on, so they won’t take me as part of the show. Her dad did.

L played around with her a bit, getting revenge for her less than good behavior. Sir sent me a text saying mabe he was there waiting in full mask with a chainsaw. I laughed because knowing him, if that was his plan he would never make even a passing mention of it. He had a family thing or else he would have done that just to get a reaction. See if I get startled I’ll scream, but I normally laugh and smile through the whole experience. I marvel at the set design and costumes of a really good haunted house and this one did not disappoint at all.

As we are going into the yard to start, her tears at full flow, the girl in front of her tells her the safeword. If you say “monsters be good” they stop and leave you alone. She a little bit of a thing weighing less than 100 pounds and almost my height. She is on my left with one arm around my neck and the other around my waist so that from the back it looks like I have two heads. She became part of me walking through, saying over and over monsters be good. It’s broken into 5 parts and as you enter and exit each one gets progressively more scary. They were amazing at the design, making sure you had a break of fresh air and the choice to leave at the end of each part.

She made it through the whole thing and at the end…..”next year I want to bring some friends with us”

They took the normal, crazy expensive pic, us against the prison wall and one of the guys with a sledge hammer. As the person said smile the guy swung it at her. L and I both with big laughing smiles and her with the look of horror and tears. At that point they could have asked for a million bucks and I would have gotten that picture for her!!!

It was a good night and a great memory.

Not much

Yesterday was weird.

A bit of my ex’s attempt at drama. Nothing I really need to write about. He still after over 20 years has no idea who I am or how I react.

I only got frustrated because I was trying to get to the gym.

I can take a lot, but don’t mess with my gym time.

It was a good class and the one after was even better.

This weekend and upcoming week is way too busy. I still need to work on my Halloween costume and restoring Sirs camera, so I won’t be getting much sleep. 

My mood is very much like the weather….not horrible, just a little bit nasty. Good news, little R cancelled plans for the 14th time;) she’s sick and I told her I can’t get sick, so unlike her prior cancellations I’m ok with it. Well as long as I don’t see her out and about doing brunch or shopping. Stupid girl always posts her every move on fb.

A funny story should unfold in a few days. FGD is going celibate for a trip to his family. N is going to montitor him. Something tells me this isn’t going to go well.