Just take your time

This is something I don’t do. I’m someone that rushes, from one task to the next. From one experience to the next. From one relationship to the next.

You know what happens when you rush? You make stupid mistakes. Now I’m not talking about work or things like typos, nope, more along the lines of you don’t see the people you are letting in for who they really are. I noticed that and now I’m fixing that. My normal reaction would be get rid of them all and start again. Truth I have some great people in my life and to loose them would be horrible.

(laundry break)

Doing laundry I came across some clothing from last year that I hadn’t realized I kept. Stuff that honestly will never see daylight. I believe it was the memories attached that caused them to go to the keep pile. In one case, it was the hope of a memory that was never to be (ps washed it with the tags still on, oops). That one is going to N, may it bring her better luck than it did me.

The reason I give so much away? (Sir said recently why don’t I keep some it it stored, just in case)It actually two very different reasons. First, I lost weight and I have no intention of gaining it back. Keeping the clothes gives you the cushion to fall back on. I know life can happen and ina year if I need surgery it will be a minimum of two months no gym. That is a fate I will deal with if it comes.

The second reason is…..more emotional. I need to see the tangible things I’ve acquired being used. I grew up dirt poor. I know what it’s like to not have. If I purchase something it is never without thought. Even my shitty 4 dollar dresses from china. The fact that I can have options and I am able to buy pretty things to me is a big, really big deal. Sure, there are times I should say no, put it down and stick some cash away for a rainy day, but I have so many storms, there’s no real way to prepare for what life throws your way. So when I come across a person that like me knows what it’s like to do without, I give. This holds true for both clothing and emotions.

Today, I’m going to put the emotions aside. Once the repair men are done fixing stuff, the cell phone goes off. I’m disconnecting and spending some time with my list of things I never give myself time to do. I’m going to enjoy the silence.

The stress I feel most of my days are do to being way to connected. Connected through emotions and technology. Shutting the emotions off is a near to impossible thing, but turning the phone off is really fucking easy:)

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