Sir’s surprise

After shutting down my computer and putting little R in her place, I headed to the city.

Sir gave me an address, dress code and time to arrive. A vanilla adventure he had planned to cheer me up.

Off the train and he said to walk around a bit. I stopped and got coffee.

His address was for a bookstore, but not one of those chain stores. This is one that specializes in photography and limited edition books.

Standing outside and I know by the directions I’m meeting someone here. 

There’s this train wreck if a woman, think a really hard looking 40, fresh from a hard impact scene. She’s dressed in full fetish wear, collar and all. Totally out of place. She’s with a man much younger than her. 

They are standing near the door, making out like crazy. Next to them a semi homeless black man, slightly ghetto, but clean. I think nothing, it’s nyc after all. 

My alarm goes off and I call sir for our happy Tuesday. He tells me to go inside and I’m the manner of 10 seconds this happens:

The couple turn to leave

The guy says oh crap I thought they were going to start fucking right there!

Then looks, like did I say that outloud.

FGD grabs me by the neck as I’m hysterical laughing. All this with Sir still in the phone. 

There’s a packed back room that we are headed to. It’s a launch party for a photography book called dancers after dark. We grab some wine and chat a little. His friend is meeting us there. N and I were talking about her today. She’s an amazingly nice and kind person.

By this point I’m so tired I look for a spot to lean on, standing was just too much work.

He commented on the fact I looked different, as he said finely fucked. I laughed and said yes and told him a bit about my day. We had a conversation about how we as a community are rushed and many times don’t give ourselves the time to process the things we do.

I told him how happy I was when I woke up and how when I got in the shower I started to freak out. I got my brain under control and as soon as I dried off emailed Sir. I started to wash myself and that voice started, that voice that says I’m dirty and will never be clean and I started to scrub and was hurting myself. 

Sir said it’s been a long time since I’ve played like that and glass half full, it’s a normal good girl reaction. Especially since it’s been 6 months since I’ve played like that. It was also because I didn’t know this other couple, that’s what got to me. If it was just the dancers, I think I’d have been ok with it. 

FGD also said it happens and it’s ok. Just don’t feed into it.

His friend showed up and the event started. Many of the dancers were there, some blended in but … oh, the ballerinas stood out just in the posture alone. One had a shirt that showed her upper back and her definition was astounding.

The photographer was one of those people with a personality bigger than life. Alan Cummings was also in the crowd. When they showed a short film of how he got some of the shots he was sitting on a stool next to me. The friend got a great pic of him and his daughter.

We went up to have FDG’s book signed and she showed him the pic, he promptly gave her his phone number to send it too. I practiced my flirting by grabbing his book and getting a few dancers to sign it.

We left and headed to grab a drink in a hotel bar that had a jazz band. Nice and easy conversation flowed and we were all thankful to Sir for setting up such a nice surprise on a happy Tuesday. 

This time I managed to stay awake the entire ride home and was so happy to see my bed and crazy old dogs.

I miss Sir and I’m feeling rather lost in life these past few days.

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