Don’t want to blog today.
N dropped, I’m dropping.
At work and I need to keep my focus. My cunt is wet and I want to cry for no reason at all.
Don’t want to blog today.
N dropped, I’m dropping.
At work and I need to keep my focus. My cunt is wet and I want to cry for no reason at all.
My friends think they are funny.
So as a very hung over me got into the car sunday afternoon, FGD tells me I props ed marriage after our last scene. We Discussed budget and everything. Now in my state this is a totally believe able thing. N kept up the story, today he admitted it was a lue, but after the scene was over I was full of compliments and total mush regarding our friendship.
He asked if I recall how that scene started and I said tell me.
We were in the smoking area and my joyful mood started to go dark. I was bitching and he asked me very directly if I would like that issue spanked out of me. I looked at him rather demure and agreed. I guess I felt myself going to the vad dark place of anger and I know that a otk spanking will fix it. Like a child I am
So over to the bench, edhes, tears and as I got up a smile back on my face. I thanked him today, I’m lucky to have good friends that really know me.
So maybe next week when Sir is in n can start her maintenance spankings. I really think it will do us both a world of good.
N had horrible drop and for the first time let him help her. He sat her on his lap and brushed her hair, fed her fruit and water while kissing away her tears. All as she cursed him and said she would never play again. Unlike last time she was better in hours rather than days and she’s agreed to not shut him out. He really misses that part of aftercare.
When I first acted like that I really thought that I was going crazy, like I was the only one. I know I’m not.
Oh and I told n that once again Sir was proven right.
The night that n came out and I used the hitachi on her, we told Sir that we don’t play. We said not with our friendship. It’s not worth the risk. He later told me that he knew we would play again, that wouldn’t be our last scene.
So here it is Sir, in writing you were right again;)
I’ve been super productive, but I’m starting to feel it, my cunt is wet and I could use some lap time. I’m going to try to put off the drop. It’s too busy of a day.
There were so many scenes and too much to really document. One that stood out was with a DD/lg. She had the most horrible week. Loosing a good friend to the big C and a terrible girl saying nasty things about her. She needed a reset even more than me.
The scene was typical impact and then he put her hair in a ponytail and cut it. You may say wow that’s fucked up, but really it wasn’t. After he cut it he told her you are beautiful, go the bathroom and look. I was outside coming back from a smoke and I saw her walking to the bathroom with the hair in her had. She was crying, but they were good tears. She really did look much better with the hair gone. Turned out she had the hair as security blanket. Something to hide under and he wanted her to see how pretty she was. She wrote about it today and her post was magical.
I know in my black out I talked to her and whatever I said made an impact as she wrote me a thank you.
I was also told that I was not fun at all to dress at the end of the night. I kept saying the sweater wasn’t mine and I made FGD put one my shoes and shit talking him as he did it. I turned into the typical drunk girl, acting like a toddler with a filthy mouth.
I think the blackout happened when I subspaced in the last scene. I was also told it was agood scene and that I took more of the dreaded multicane than I had prior. I’m a bit afraid to look at my ass today.
Let’s see….N had to fill me in on most of it. She told the drunk english guy she didn’t like him and he was a stage one clinger. He sent a message of apology today for being a “drunk asshole”.
I tried to get N to call to fill in more gaps, so I guess there will be a partie trois tomorrow.
We left and N made me lay down in the car with my head on The other girl’s lap and told her she need to check on me and pet my hair. I was crying as I sometimes do after a long night of playing. FGD carried me in and the two of them out me to bed and got the dogs into bed with me.As they left I said please text Sir and let him know I’m home. I did dead weight so I woke up fully clothed and with the worst hangover.
Sir once asked how someone so very Irish doesn’t drink Jameson? So I explained much like the Russian FGD who doesn’t drink vodka, this Irish girl and her motherlands drink of choice do not mix well.
Sadly I love the taste but ever since a Halloween parade gone wrong, I don’t drink it. The result is a near instant black out.
Last night started off late and I tried to cancel even going at the very last minute. I would have missed what I was told was a very funny night.
So here;s before the Whiskey:
We got to the club, greeted by the hostess who was so insanely happy to see us. There was a ton of Newbies and the regular old crew. FGD said in the car I was the first up tonight, saying he needed to adjust my piss poor attitude. I didn’t disagree since it had been weeks of stress with zero outlet to the pain I needed to reset my brain.
So within minutes I was on the bench ass up. A good okt spanking that soon escalted to the belt and the fire house and then when I was ready to make my pleading call to Sir he told me he’d call back in a minute as my wiki studies weren’t up to par this past week. When he called back I was crying and he said if I begged for the zapper thingy that I could cum. I handed the phone over since when I spoke the words weren’t formed in the correct manner and I really needed a pain only cum in the worst way. Sir tried to get me to cum from just the zapper but it’s a pain I do not associate with pleasure and my brain isn’t wired for that. So one good cum with the firehouse after the 6th zap! It was nothing compared to what N endured.
He had N’s old dogs remote control training collar strapped to her inner thigh and ever time she cursed she was made to dance. Up until my scene ended and she tried to give me water, she had no zaps. I gave her the fuck you look with my eyes and she said “fuck you Bitch” and I laughed as she danced and a flood of curses escaped her mouth. The two of them had a scene and I had never seen someone take so much electrical play before.
There was little to no play before we arrived but as soon as we started it was scene after scene. We played the whole night through and today we were all super sedated. N and I also had our first scene. Totally not planned but I hear it was a real hoot to watch.
She was caught up on the idea of kissing me when she was electrified. She got her wish. They cuffed me to the suspended spreader bar. They were playing this music that was straight out of our old club days and N made me dance too.
I had went to the bar at some point in between and there was a really drunk little english guy. We started chatting and it was his first ever party. I’m sometimes to happy when I drink and I think it gives people the wrong idea. I told him straight off that I’m owned and explained the collar thing to him. The bartender piped in with the comment her Dom is big and could crush you. I kidded to Sir that I was going to start a collection of little adorable foreign men Like Frenchie.
There was a girl that was going to have her first ever scene in public with the hostess. I told her she picked the best and she was in good hands, she insisted I do a shot with her for luck and the bartender poured the dreaded drink that resulted in the first blackout of my fourth decade. I recall some of it up to the last scene I had.
When I black out for the most part you can’t tell how drunk I am until it’s too late.
Sadly not a fun one.
It’s all work.
Projects, meetings, running from one thing to the next.
Yesterday was the first time I was able to go to yoga this week. I needed it more than I’ve ever needed a spanking.
Sir has been sick and still supportive through this very busy time. Starting tomorrow I get to change gears to planning for his next visit. I have a few things planned and it really gives me joy to do little things for those I care about.
I took off tomorrow, I need a day to myself during the week to get things done. Plus I’m going to meet up with n for lunch in the city then to go and buy a winter coat! Since it’s cold as all f@$#, I think that it’s about time!
Last night I took my iPad and some cold medicine and went to my room. It seemed the moment my head hit the pillow I was out cold.
I really don’t like not saying good night to Sir, with both of us having a cold we are a bit off in our routines.
I feel run down and all I do is blow my nose, but other than that, I’m functioning. I feel bad that I’m hosting a couple of people and I really can’t muster the energy to half my normal self.
Waking up this morning was hard until I looked at my phone and saw Sirs message. happy two years again. Two years sine his first visit. We both took such a crazy risk meeting blindly like that. Lord knows what could have been waiting on the other side of the door.
It was the ultimate moment of trust for both of us and a risk I’m glad we took. The next few days will be full of work and sneezing and I hope a little sleep, missing our good long talks.
Well at least I feel like I can function again. That cold really knocked me on my ass. I’m left with the residual puffy eyes and runny nose.
I feel physically like I never stepped foot into a gym. All those months of hard work feel like they never occurred. Everyone was on me to eat and that’s funny because with this cold I had to eat. My stomach was a constant pit of need and I believe in the theory of starva a fever and feed a cold. The shitty thing or more what saved my diet is I have nothing but healthy food, so really can’t mess up that bad with veggies and stuff. I did as per Sir’s request go buy oatmeal and that seemed to work best at making the noises stop.
Today I have things to do. Life was on hold long enough and I must clean the sick sheets, if nothing else. I’m going to see how I feel because come the stroke of midnight I will have house guests. I was hoping to take a few days off to show them the city but my epic work failure from last week is going to have to come first. So Monday night I will be working till the wee hours again. This will allow me to take Friday off and the Friday before the New Year when Sir is in.
I’m not looking forward to going out in the cold, I still don’t have a proper winter coat. So layers will have to do. I’m an epic failure as an adult in that department. My hope was that the cold would wait until after my next paycheck, but that didn’t happen.
It will be nice to see this city through the eyes of a new comer. I and I think all residents here forget just how grand our city is. Both the lights and it’s seedy corners. Here’s to feeling better-ish. Hope Sir is too.
Shit blew up Monday night. massive system failures and instead of working until 3, I was up till 7
And just like that, the cold I’ve been fighting off since Friday cane in full force
I managed about 5 hours sleep then got up and headed to the gym, a run, a sauna, nope, that didn’t work
I crawled myself over to the drug store and took my spending money for this week and brought had the cold isle.
Looks like I’m canceling the rest of its weeks plans. I got into the office early. must meet with the boss and figure out how to fix this work thing, then back home to bed
Tonight I was supposed to try a maintenence spanking buy I don’t know if I can.
Just need to go home and sleep
Yesterday an alert came up that I made my 1000th post. All I thought was wow, that’s really a lot of me rambling on.
Oh weird side note: way back when Sir and I watched the story of o, well one thing leading to another I honestly couldn’t recall how it ended. so last night waiting for yoga to start I read the last 5 pages and got really pissed. how could he leave her or allow her to kill herself? What a shitty fucked up thing to do.
How could anyone reading that really want to come into this lifestyle? I really believe that’s the hardest thing to face. It’s one thing to break up with someone, totally another to do it in the D/s world. Yet in life, all things end.
Yesterday everyone was dropping around me .
FGD was a shell of himself. N was a horrid lunitic. L was super insecure. I was just going through the motions. Today I’m left oddly empty.
I’m finding it harder lately to refill myself. I used to be able to take a day and that was enough, now it’s really not.
For anyone who has never had the pleasure of dealing with the NYC subway system, let me tell you…..IT SUCKS!!!!!!
Last night a favorite teacher of mine started a community event in a really high quality studio. It was only a 20 minute ride away and right off the subway line. The bride and I set off to go, N dropped us at a closer station and within 15 minutes we were there. We think, hey this is great.
We do the class, only costing 5 bucks to cover the rental fee. Both leave feeling awesome. It’s right near a shopping area so we stopped in a store. I needed to try on a couple of coats for size to order on-line.
Then we head into the station……..
This is a station that connects almost every line that comes into bklyn and we hear announcements 0 lines have delays and are running on different track. Not ours, so all should be good , right? Guess again. We get on a pack train and here its’ running on the local line to 36th, fuck! I have this big guy that smells and I tell the bride, It’s local, lets get off the next stop and jump on the train that will go all the way to bayridge. So we do that and end up stuck there for almost 2 hours. Three trains that are never on that line pass and then I see the train we need is passing the express line!. I tell her no matter what train comes, we are getting on it and transferring since they can’t change lines until 36th.
I get on and this lady has a kid in a stroller that was like 8, WTF and the damn kid is kicking me and laughing. So maybe I might have kicked back and them with my leg moved her leg so if she did it again she’d kick her mom. The bride saw me trying not to loose it and was laughing. As we pulled into the station the train we needed was across the line and we ran!
Back at my house we were now an hour later to meet up with her husband and his friends to celebrate his birthday. We should have been an hour early, but shit happens. We both laughed that every time we go to anything yoga related there’s an adventure and a fight. This was no exception:)