There are times when I need … not space, but peace. Sir I think sees that as alone time, but it’s not that. There are times when I have peace in the middle of a crowd. It’s often times a sudden quieting of my mind.
I’ll tell you, many times when I’m alone my mind is not soft, it’s busy, listing, analyzing, making plans, having conversations with me and with others that mostly never happen.Having N around to chat with along with Sir has helped this. She has a similar thought pattern. It’s the constant need to strive for more, be more. We have been doing a good job of keeping each other from over thinking, but sometimes it happens.
An example, I will often fall into a place of uncertainty. This manifests in many different ways. I’ll start questioning things that I know are reality and think maybe they are not. It’s like always waiting for the other shoe to drop and I’m tired of that feeling.
With the holidays coming I know I need to keep my head in a good space. It’s hard and there are so many people I miss that I can easily fall into my head and rehash conversations I should have had with them. Things I should have said to them, or did I?
Today I’m needing to search for that little bit of peace because I woke up to a storm inside my brain. It could be the holiday’s, it could be the lack of calm this past week. I don’t know. I do know checking things off my list will help. So that’s what I’m going to do.