I figured out the pattern.
I dropped when Sir was here because of the nye scene. Silly slave thought there would be no “he’s gone” drop.
Then he leaves and the dog drops. They dog recovers and then I drop.
Welcome to the drop circle of life.
I think the funniest thing my french shadow said last night was “I thought this lifestyle would be easier”
Oh dear, you are so very very wrong!
Ive noticed most newbie men think this. Especially the ones that say they want poly and they learn really quickly that any version of an open dynamic is a million times more work then they could even guess.
Sir and I decided on a bitch level indicator that will be reported every morning. Kinda a heads up as too the me I am on that day. Current level 2.5, but it’s all work stuff. I’m burnt out, implimentations do that.
Yesterday I just missed everyone, I had made a list off all of the people in the past 4 years I said goodbye to and it was really long. Sadly they were mostly goodbyes of my own choice, that hurts even more. I think that could put anyone in a bad mental place.
Today I’ll try harder to stay in the moment. Try to deal with less people.
Let’s see how that goes.