The Crazy 

Ok so now I’m up to Sunday.

Up early was the plan, but I set my alarm for pm, not am. 

Little R got engaged to the asshat right after the new year. Her sugar momma set up and engagement brunch. The response was under whelming, so I couldn’t not go. I made certain to change no plans that day, but to work it in. 

I had yoga at 2, brunch a 11. Those 2 things, in that order do not go together at all. So for 2 hours I sat there, no food, no cocktails, just black coffee. Blahhhhh. 

I still couldn’t see well and really didn’t want to be in the pics with my big red eye, so I volunteered to take them. 

Later I see them posted and everyone was listed except me. Guess I imagined wasting 2 hours of my life sipping black coffee and listening to bullshit as 2 300 pound woman eat 3 courses. 

I pulled her outside when I left and very directly asked her if she wanted to be married to him or just wanted to be married and have a wedding. I got the normal bullshit lie and went on my merry way to yoga.

Insert subway issues. Got to yoga with one minute to spare, great practice and then I had to food shop on an empty stomach. Luckily I had to carry everything, so it wasnt too bad.

Now here comes the crazy. Little R is just living in a fantasy world, but my family is fucking nuts.

My mother comes to pick me up so we can go to my aunts for her birthday, only 10 days late.

So I give her her present. I sit down and she declares she’s getting a gun (her hysband abd son agree with this)Wtf, but that’s not the crazy part. She says with all the unrest due to trump winning she doesn’t feel safe as a white person. Oh and BTW she’s married to a dark skinned Spanish man.

Fucking hello …. we live in nyc, it’s the white people protesting, you know like me?

I loose it and say you don’t live in fucking Mississippi. There’s no race issues. Did you tattoo I voted for this asshole on your forehead. Then I told her about she should be worried that she lives in the midst if a bunch of white junkies, that also all voted for him!

Her response.  Well don’t you see the stuff posted on facebook? The truth I didn’t say is I unfollowed her days ago. Her comments were abusive and she was responding to mostly fake posts. So I gave her a lesson on how not everything is real on the Internet proving that the last three articles she read were not true.

Then she says the craziest thing yet. Her whole claim thus far was, I would go through legal channels and it would be registered, blah x3. She’d go to the range to learn to use it.

Then she says, well there’s times I have a lot of money on me in the subway leaving the fairs. Omfg, I inform her she is not allowed to carry a concealed weapon on the subway system. 

Funny part, my mother silent to this point, says “no good comes once a gun enters the picture”. I snap my head around laughing and say, well that’s because they were always brought in by criminals. She laughed, like the one that killed our neighbor or the other one that shot himself…. what a lovely childhood

We ended the conversation that if she got a gun I’d no longer go to her house. I also told her to get mental help. 

My mother thinks this is all because my cousin joined the army. This is her way of redirecting her emotions. 

Turns out she’s leaving on my mother’s birthday…..

Mom and I had a long talk. I told her about her recent behavior being worse than a teenager and we are going to try to work on our relationship, sadly, seems we only have each other left. I told her, except for holidays I no longer want to deal with my aunt. I fear going down the path that I did with my other aunt. that ended with me telling her to go fuck herself and fists being thrown.

2 thoughts on “The Crazy ”

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