Feeling grateful

I bitch too much on here. I think it might be because I’m normally at work writing this or because with the exception of Sir I don’t openly complain to anyone but …me.

It’s taken fourty years to start being ok with me. The physical, emotional, the entire…me.

I think I’m about 80% there. Lol, maybe I’m being optimistic but that’s how I feel. I owe much to Sir. Even if it’s not directly him, but his support. To him, I needed community, friends, playpartners, to go and live life. 

I don’t think I noticed that I had stopped doing that. I was always the ring leader and I had sadly gone inside and closed down for a few years. I had been hurt way too much and I was tired of it.

Yet there was a part of me that wanted to live again. I think that’s why I get that lonely feeling sometimes. It’s my w as y of reminding me where I was and how far I’ve come. 

Missing sir

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