How far you’ve come

Sometimes you need to go back to see how far you’ve come. I did that yesterday. Dressed in gym clothes, looking nothing special I went out for the day with mom.

I never realized how very depressing where I used to live really was. NO ONE WALKS! I’m totally serious, I saw not one person on the street and when we got back into my neighborhood I was so happy to see the hoards of people walking around, doing the normal Saturday stuff. I even told my mother and she agreed.

I often wonder if I would have made anywhere near as many changes without Sir. I’m not even talking about any of the kinky crap. In some forms behind closed doors I’ve had that in the past. I’m speaking of the real life stuff.

Something as simple as trying a new yoga studio alone. This is something I would have never done and one of the reasons that I never really pursued finding a yoga partner. In the past I needed to be with someone I new to do new things. Now I have the confidence to go it alone. Even if I suck at it, I feel accomplished that I tried something new.

Oh and btw, I got a girls number in yoga yesterday! Surprise Sir….. I didn’t say anything because I figured I could write it here. I used my spiffy new yoga mat as an opening. I had her try it and compared to the crap they use at the gym she was super impressed. To preface I have zero interest in her, but you said practice and I did.

Today walking to do my very early morning laundry I was happy to see the people out and about. I’ve always been happiest to be alone in a crowd. Not to stay alone, but to have it at my disposal to be around others even when my ability to be social fades. That’s kinda where I am right now. The past few weeks of being super social and kick ass at work had left me the need to be soft, still and calm.

This no longer means a total shut down as it did before. Instead I still keep in contact with those close. Yet I take the time to do the things that sooth me. The side effect is now I have enough food cooked to get me through about three weeks!

In short, thanks Sir, I’m starting to fins peace in this world of utter madness.

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