I’ve never been a joiner. My ex and I used to fight over that all the time. He would join clubs and organizations. I used to tell him he had issues because he was always looking to “belong” to something.
I told him once, I don’t join, I lead.
In hindsight, god that was true. It was a problem we had from the very beginning.
When I had first met my Sunday yoga teacher we had talked about family. This was not in the context of blood relatives, but her moving across the country and loosing her community of yoga family.
This stuck with me. It wasn’t because I felt similar, but because she seemed so lost without it. When crazy lady told me about this weekends conference I knew I had to tell her. What made this event different from the other I’ve attended is that is was for teachers, shhhh, I really shouldn’t have been allowed in, but no one knew.
She joined me for a noon time free class and as we were strolling the market after she was able to chat and for the first time had a true smile, not a fake I’m getting by face. She left for work and with a big hug said “thank you” I needed that.
I stuck around, thinking I’ll take 2 more classes and in pops crazy lady. She was going between teaching her classes and making the most of the free pass she managed to get the day before. She said that the paid classes weren’t worth it and to stick to the master’s level community classes I was in. She had to go teach in union square so I took the next class alone. God it was hard, like harder than her classes. My knee started to scream, so I decided another class wasn’t a great idea.
Sir and I spoke on and off. I told him I was going to head to union Square to stroll around and stop in Trader Joe’s for the dogs wine and cheese. I swear they eat better than me.
There were options for last night, go to a party, go to the movies with FGD and N or go get a silly amount of sushi and hang out with the dogs. We agreed that was my best option. I was exhausted but mentally good and the other two plans could have changed that space.
Today is yet another packed day of classes and hopefully meeting the hostess for dinner. It’s important I check on her face to face outside of the crowd we are normally in. She has had way too much drama lately. I really feel for her. Oh Sir you know how you said the host should post something? Turns out she did. It took balls and she was made to look like an ass. The lines have officially been drawn for now and I’m going to try to just stay out of all of it, while still letting her know I’m her friend. It’s totally a crappy situation.