Pep Talks

Too much has been going on as of late to have time to sit and write.

N and FGD have had there dramas, L is acting like a subbie bitch. I have been staying out of the lifestyle due to a real lack of patience to put up with the shit attached to it.

My community goes on without me and my friends are acting like little kids without a mother, but sometimes you have to push them to grow the fuck up. That’s what I’m doing because I only have just enough emotional fortitude to deal with my shot and Sirs. That’s where I reach the max amount I can handle at this time.

So I survived my back bend workshop. This was a bigger thing than I think I can explain for soooooo many reasons. First and easiest, my back bends suck. In big part because my main teacher, crazy lady…her back bends suck too, so we don;t practice them as much as we really should. The fact I have 3 herniates discs also doesn’t really help much, but I can work with that.

So once again like at Ahisma last year I find myself in a class that is geared toward teachers, even though it says all levels, all levels my ass! Plus (and here’s the bigger part) it’s on the upper east side. Sir can explain much better that abject horror I go through when I need to interface with people there. Growing up I was raised that we didn’t belong there. The rational side of me knows, I’ve come a long way from living in the project and tenement buildings, but you still have that little voice that will sneak in and say “they are better than you”.

A big shift in that neighborhood has occured, it’s called the second ave subway line. In some ways a savior to many people in other parts of the city, but I look at it as a big Fuck you to the upper east (that I rather enjoy). It used to be almost impossible to get to that neighborhood, unless you didnt micd a few trains and a bud ride across town. Now, Brooklyn has a direct route via the Q train and even though it’s still long, it’s doable.

Gone are the days of only the wealthy being there. Walking around you now see the minor shift the train line has brought. The older buildings are being gutted and oddly it’s becoming a rather affordable )in spots) place to live. Hey Sir, I know I’m a village girl at heart, but wouldn’t it be funny if I lived there? One of my old friends has a 2 bedroom that new and affordable. So weird to think that.

Back to yesterday, the studio did not disappoint. The pictures on line don’t do it a bit of justice. They have a changing area three time the size of most city studios and a waiting area twice my apartment. A cleaning crew of 5 preps the rooms, removing the used mats cleaning the floors and setting up for the next class. So you just walk in and….that’s it. They use the same expensive 10 pound mat I lug all around NYC. I was in awe and as I was walking out of the woman’s room I panicked. That voice came up and said, you don’t belong here, leave. I had to say, my money is paid, and in crazy lady’s voice my beautiful girl, you are as good as any teacher, you are ready for this.

Ok, so crazy multi-accent pep talk done I sit down and resolve not to move until the doors open to start the class. The teacher and her sister show up. The waiting room gets backed. We start the class and I’m not going to lie, it was hard. Then the worst thing that could happen does, the teacher says partner up. FUCK. I’m here alone and most of these girls are in groups. Oh and most of them were girls, there were maybe 2 or three woman near my age there. One of the damn teachers was a teenager. Something I did not realize on her social media page that suckered me into this experience. I choose a spot in the middle of the room and luckily a little indian girl (dot, not feather) in the front looked as horrified as me when she said that so I waved her over. We remained partners for the rest of the class and that was luck for her because she was too small to really help balance any of the taller girls. We had a nice chat during some partner practiced, both of us more into aireal than floor, both of us sucking at regular back bends.

Then it was time for the hour long inversion stuff. This is the real reason I wanted to go. I love inversions, but in the past could only do them on the ribbons due to a lack of upper body strength. Not now, I have worked on building up my shoulders, chest and back, sadly causing my boobs to receded a bit. She showed us this amazing position and said for those used to back bends partner up or go to the front and she would assist. I pretended I was not used to them, because I was not going to pass on getting the direct instruction. The majority of the classes I attend outside of the ribbon hardly have any inversions past shoulder stand. So a foot from the wall, in head stand I go up, no problem, I lift my head off the floor and the teacher was impressed I lower my ass to the wall while keeping my head off the ground and I actually do it, a back bend inverted. This was my whole reason for wanting to do this class. That one position. So now my issue is always, how the fuck do I get out of this without hurting myself. I tell her upside down I can always get the pose, I can;t always get out. She walks me through the safest method and I don;t come crashing down as I normally would. Sadly this gave me a bit too much bravery and I decided, hell if I can do that with ease, lets try a heand stand into scorpion. LOL, nope, by this point I was 2 and a half hours into this class and my older body said, stop! Today my right shoulder is sore, but I can move, so life is good.

I got over my fear, my fear of inverted back bends and the evil upper east side.

 

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