A day “off”

No not really off, or maybe off in a different way.

I have three doctors appointments. My eyes have been a constant source of pain for the last couple of weeks. You know it’s bad when a masochist says pain. I kinda know why, but I need to double check.

My cousin and I have the same eyes, shape color and allergies. When he was little he also had what my mother called horror movie eyes. I’ve been lucky that I had never let mine get so bad until now. It’s not that they are blood shot, it’s that they are tearing so bad the skin under them is breaking from the moisture and in the morning I look like a character from a damn Anne Rice novel that has tears of blood.

My vision is crap because its like looking through the world with pool goggles on.

Plus, lets face it, I’m a “woman of a certain age” that can’t wear concealer or anything that goes near the tear duct.

The past couple of days, I’ve had back to back meetings and being trapped in boardrooms has not helped the issue. My boss said to me, please go get that looked at, so I explained I have no idea where to start, so I made an appointment with every doctor minus one that could help. Today I will be walking around, doctor to doctor in thunder storms to try to get someone to heal these eyes.

For now with Sir, it’s just a waiting game. I mentioned to Sir that I’ve fallen out of touch with many people since his issues started. I’m just in no shape physically or mentally to deal with people that can’t excuse me for the things that I have on my mind. It’s not that I’m being different, it’s just that I have no ability to want to censor myself. I even told L the other day to knock off his shit, his life isn’t that bad. He makes it that way. Not a nice thing to say to a friend, but fuck if it isn’t the truth.

Even N, I told her she needs to step up her game and start kicking people out of her house.

At work in the middle of a meeting I stopped the vendor on the phone and said to him, really what’s the title of this meeting? did it never occur to you that if that’s the title that’s what we are going to give you and you need to correct it if it’s wrong?

My fuse is super short, sometimes in a slightly amusing way, but I feel like I’m on the verge of exploding lately.


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