Something I want

I don’t know if I can have it….

Honestly it’s tied into my want of having a child. It’s the need to have something that’s yours. Something you don’t want to share. Sonething selfish that you can be selfless to.

You see I share a lot. I share sir with his need to be with family. I share N with FGD and her family. I share, I’m good at it for the most part, keeping my jealousy in check.

I met someone that I don’t want to share. Well that’s not 100 percent right. I don’t care that she may have other lovers or dynamics, I just don’t want to share her with mine. Is that wrong?

I get a feeling of freedom with her that is different from others I’ve been with. It could be something as simple as she’s a lesbian so the thought of public affection has zero connotation of …. incorrectness. I, yes me, the proper and reserved one grabbed her on the street and kissed her. We walked had in hand laughing and proud.

I don’t know how to process that yet, but I lived in the moment and it’s great. I don’t want to overthink it, but I am and will. That’s me. 

Sir, this is different, but good.

She knows about you but not the orgasm control. I told her that you are fine with me having female partners without you and that’s true. At least I think, but I am battling my want to keep her as mine. 

It’s like that mommy domme that’s only cone out a couple of times is raging inside of me. So please know if we do play and I don’t call it’s not because I’m a bad girl, it’s because I think I won’t need to. I don’t orgasm I’m top space and that’s what I feel with her. 

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