Tag Archives: slabe

Random life- day two of hell or pt3

I had a plan.

This day was going one of two ways, either a quick in and out and some much needed down time or …( blog stopped due to my ex being an asshole, yet again)

So it’s now 5 hours later and I have hell fire in my eyes and soul.

We all filed into a room and three jurors were late.

Of course they were in the ones already called, so they need four more. They call an older man, the guy I was talking to, me and of course the asshole.

So I’m sitting there in yoga clothes, in a chair attached to him.

He is moving it and I’m mumbling don’t loose it, they will hold you, not him.

They get to me and I tell them what I do and that I could be unbiased in determining fault. It not on judging a monetary award. So they pull me outside. I tell them that I’ve been in multiple accidents one that caused me to loose a child. Needless to say, automatic dismissal. Yet now I’m so pissed I also add that I also would end up physically artacking the man next to me if we say I’m a jury together and that he was acting that way in purpose. They laughed and said they knew and they we in no way going to pick him. 

Back in the room and they question this guy. He had the most perfect job for his personality. He is the sales person the collections agency sends to corporations to buy their debt. He’s a professional social justice asshat!

They put us back in the big room and tell us to wait, I’m getting more and more angry thinking we have to sit until 5. 

Luckily, they come out with our proof letter and we are allowed to go home. As we leave I look around, no officers and I say loud enough for all to hear, looking at him, that he’s a real asshole!

This long stupid story has set the tone for my week so far.

Verbal diarrhea  

lately I’ve had little thoughts to blog, but now insert bottle of prosecco And my mind is going.

So alone and semi tipsy, I check my play partner sites. The swinger site has dried up. I’m good with that. With very few exceptions, little n, Aruba girl and the after work party group I found it lacking.oh so much drama and jealousy! Then there’s just the plain crazy people or the ones looking to up their numbers. So that whole thing started me thinking.

I ask… To all of the poly people, how does that dynamic work. I know in the past it was never a consideration. Lately I find just the sex and play lacking without the emotional bond. There are a couple of girls I really like, but how does poly differ from Fwb?

I’m sure sir and I will have a conversation later, but for now I pose this question to my fellow bloggers.

I also noticed that on my old profile that I met Sir on people were wondering why I didn’t respond to messages, so I put up a journal telling them I had found a good, Emotionally based, nurturing relationship. I wish them all luck, but I have my Sir and I like to go back there and read our first messages. So I just can’t delete it. 

So new profile I get a message from a much older Dom with a play room. I immediately think of New Year’s Eve and i respond. I just adored m’s room, so clean and pretty and oh such toys!!! Unfortunatly he has no subs and I looked, lots of interesting equipment, but no display. I’ve helped my family with merchandising and it’s just not visually appealing. Too bad, I think often of how nice it would be  5 months  later for Sir and I to play there once again. Maybe the search is started or now I guess continues for a nice local private dungeon. 

Oh and then to my fellow blogger little L or p or dd?? You should really consider a trip to the big apple!!!

Vanilla type of love

Every morning I take the bus with basically the same people. Today I realized that 2 of them are actually a couple. She gets off before him and today I heard her mutter a “love you” and he grunted.

They sit there every morning like strangers. They don’t talk or touch, not an ounce of chemistry between them.

I remember that, that vanilla “love you.”. The words said with no meaning. That feeling of being totally alone in a relationship. I used to tell people that I was a single married woman. I fucked no one, I took care of everyone and I was constantly alone.

Sir will be up for Valentine’s Day. We are not together for a “long” time, but I’m closer to him than any other. I have never uttered those meaningless words. That’s what they are. Some words have impact like wait, obey, cum, slave, sir, home. Other words are much better expressed by actions and reactions.

I show sir my love by my need to obey.
By making sure I have all of his favorite foods.
By serving him with the silver slave tray
By taking his pain.
By my reactions to his cock pushing into my slave hole.
By trusting him to keep me safe.
By communicating every thought and emotion.
By wanting to experience every new thing with him.
By needing to touch him.
By sweet kisses,long hugs and plenty of cuddle time.
By my complete and totally submission.
By giving him control.
By doing my type a best to be his cum and pain slut, his good slut.
By licking, sucking and fucking any man or woman he says.
By my body being ready, wet and dripping every single hour of the day.

When we are out, we touch, we hold hands, we lean on each other. A constant need to be both mentally and physically connected. That’s what sets us apart from this indifferent vanilla love.

I could never go back to that disconnected life.
For the first time I am actually looking forward to Valentine’s Day, to kneel before my sir, and showing him how important he is to me by being his good girl, his good slut, and most important, his happy slave.

Side note: I have a cold, I was not going to sleep easy last night. Sir asked if I need pain or just a sweet goodnight. I said pain, please, sir.

Binder clip on my clit, I let it go all the way, knowing I will need strong pain to get rid of the bad pain in my chest. Then sir says take it off, I want to scream and curse him, I need to cum. I need the pain to wash over me. Then he says put it back on, I breathe again, but just on the tip. I do and the pain is stronger fuller, Devine. He say move it around and up and down and it builds I beg, not all that well because my throat hurts and he lets me cum, one minute to cum as much as i can from that beautiful pain he is giving me. When he says to take it off and cum, I do and 2x. I continue to spasm, it takes a full minute to reach that blissful afterglow in my slAve state. I no longer cough, I can lay down and sleep. He tells me I’m a good girl and with soft kind words he wishes me goodnight. I fell asleep no longer feeling ill, but in a slave state with a smile on my face, hugging my pillow tight as I would have my sir. He is the best doctor I have ever known!!

Oh and good news, I was able to count, so my knew cum slut record is:
27 orgasms in 65 seconds.